Your husband was an alcoholic for a long time. Maybe they dont want to help because they don't like him very much. Alcoholism stole their childhoods. Why should they give up their adult lives for him too?
First I must say that your husband is NOT your girls responsibility to take care of. I'm guessing they're all grown and have families of their own and that is is their priority and responsibility. They have their hands full just like you, so if you're feeling angry, frustrated and lonely it's up to you to make the necessary changes to make sure your husband is receiving the care he requires and you're getting time away to do things you enjoy. It's hard caring for someone you love, this I know firsthand. My husband had a massive stroke a year and a half after we were married at the age of 48, and had many health issues over the years including developing vascular dementia in the final years of his life, which ended up taking him at the age of 72. And I was his sole caregiver with the exception of when hospice came on board for the last 22 months of his life, but even then I was still responsible for 99% of his care, as they don't do much as far as care, other than bathing a couple times a week. And never once did I expect my 2 children to help me with his care, as he was my husband and they had families of their own to care for. Did I get lonely, angry and frustrated at times? Of course I did. But I made sure that I was getting out as often as I could with friends to do lunch or supper, or go to church or even just to sit outside on my patio with a glass of wine was helpful to rejuvenate my soul so I could continue on my journey with my husband. You may want to look into seeing if you have an Adult Day Care Center near you. Those are great as you can leave your husband there for up to 8 hours a day 5 days a week if you want to, and that would give you time to do things you enjoy and take time for yourself. Otherwise hiring some in home help may be the answer for you. And of course if things are just too much for you with his care it may be time to look into placing him in the appropriate facility. Only you know how much more you can take and it may be time to be thinking not only what is best for him, but for you as well.
I am caring for my husband Richard, who is 74 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, and hearing loss.
About Me I’m almost 68 I have 9 wonderful awesome grandkids They are my world married 36 years husband has multiple illnesses a recovered alcoholic for 7 years now left him With chrosis of the liver.I have been the caretaker of my famiky and now him Hubby now has lewey bodies dementia and altimizers,copd high blood pressure depression I believe in God and hold on to the serenity prsyer one day at a time.
You have a lot on your plate and it's a good idea to start thinking about long term plans here. With cirrhosis of the liver, Lewy Body dementia, and all the other health issues at play, you're going to need help caring for your husband. Your children should not be expected to do the hands on caring, which shouldn't make you angry............look into in home caregivers and long term care facilities for him instead. Cirrhosis tends to require a LOT of care as it progresses, so speak to his doctor about what lies ahead & how best to prepare for his care. You can't do it alone, nor should you try to. This level of care requires more than one person to handle, so take a non-emotional look at things now and plan accordingly.
Wishing you the best of luck getting your ducks lined up for the future. Definitely check with an eldercare attorney about Medicaid and what requirements you need to meet to be eligible, if necessary.
5 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
That said, based on the description posted above, I'd guess that family help may not be what's best at this point.
ADVERTISEMENT
It's hard caring for someone you love, this I know firsthand. My husband had a massive stroke a year and a half after we were married at the age of 48, and had many health issues over the years including developing vascular dementia in the final years of his life, which ended up taking him at the age of 72.
And I was his sole caregiver with the exception of when hospice came on board for the last 22 months of his life, but even then I was still responsible for 99% of his care, as they don't do much as far as care, other than bathing a couple times a week. And never once did I expect my 2 children to help me with his care, as he was my husband and they had families of their own to care for.
Did I get lonely, angry and frustrated at times? Of course I did. But I made sure that I was getting out as often as I could with friends to do lunch or supper, or go to church or even just to sit outside on my patio with a glass of wine was helpful to rejuvenate my soul so I could continue on my journey with my husband.
You may want to look into seeing if you have an Adult Day Care Center near you. Those are great as you can leave your husband there for up to 8 hours a day 5 days a week if you want to, and that would give you time to do things you enjoy and take time for yourself. Otherwise hiring some in home help may be the answer for you. And of course if things are just too much for you with his care it may be time to look into placing him in the appropriate facility.
Only you know how much more you can take and it may be time to be thinking not only what is best for him, but for you as well.
I am caring for my husband Richard, who is 74 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, and hearing loss.
About Me
I’m almost 68 I have 9 wonderful awesome grandkids They are my world married 36 years husband has multiple illnesses a recovered alcoholic for 7 years now left him
With chrosis of the liver.I have been the caretaker of my famiky and now him Hubby now has lewey bodies dementia and altimizers,copd high blood pressure depression I believe in God and hold on to the serenity prsyer one day at a time.
You have a lot on your plate and it's a good idea to start thinking about long term plans here. With cirrhosis of the liver, Lewy Body dementia, and all the other health issues at play, you're going to need help caring for your husband. Your children should not be expected to do the hands on caring, which shouldn't make you angry............look into in home caregivers and long term care facilities for him instead. Cirrhosis tends to require a LOT of care as it progresses, so speak to his doctor about what lies ahead & how best to prepare for his care. You can't do it alone, nor should you try to. This level of care requires more than one person to handle, so take a non-emotional look at things now and plan accordingly.
Wishing you the best of luck getting your ducks lined up for the future. Definitely check with an eldercare attorney about Medicaid and what requirements you need to meet to be eligible, if necessary.
Do your girls have jobs and families of their own? Those need to be their priority, don't you think?
What are your and your husband's financial esources for care at home or in a facility?
Have you talked to an eldercare attorney?