Mom won't sell her property. Any advice?

You need to read your POA very carefully. It may contain the info you need to proceed.

Also if you have a document prepared by a professional who is trained an/or licensed in the area of geriatric cognitive assessment that identifies and describes your mother’s current mental status, you can at least in my state (not TX), make a stronger case for assuming your responsibility as POA.

Suggestion- it’s no longer a courtesy or kindness to her to try to “discuss” matters regarding her care. What has to be done to make and keep her life SAFE and PEACEFUL are in the process of becoming YOUR responsibility.

You are facing a difficult point (for YOU, NOT HER) in her care, but trust that most of us have gotten through it, and although it may result in your shedding some tears or second guessing yourself once in a while, making the best decisions you can find, with love and respect for her, and who she is now, and what she needs to be SAFE and PEACEFUL, will let you move forward.

Hoping you will be taking good care of yourself also, as you continue in supervising her are…..

Like the others have stated, you need to look at the PoA document -- you'll see whether the power to do real estate transactions is granted or not. If so, and your Mother has a medical diagnosis of memory and cognitive then you're good to go. Or, if you are DPoA you may not even need a diagnosis for your powers to be active.

You don't need to get her to agree to the transaction... if I were you I wouldn't even tell her it's happening. if it's in her best interests to sell it and pay for her current and future needs, then it is legitimate. You can tell her a "therapeutic fib" if she even asks about the house after it's gone.

Also, it would be worth the expense of taking the PoA documents to an elder law attorney to have them educate you on what this role requires, and also talk to a Medicaid Planner for your state so that you don't inadvertently delay or disqualify your Mom from receiving this aid if necessary.

If the property has decades of delayed maintenance and possibly have something more unique, (like slate roof, old wiring, foundation issues), I’d suggest that you get it inspected first AND then get it appraised. The appraiser gets the inspection report & it will be a way way more accurate appraisal on the house.

Appraisers really won’t necessarily go underneath the house to look at the piers nor will they crawl up into the rafters or walk the roof, but a residential inspector will & will take pictures.

As others have said, if Medicaid is ever anticipated to be applied for, Medicaid will want the house sold at FMV. FMV tends to be the tax assessor value IF no appraisal done to establish a different FMV. Please please look at your moms tax assessor bill, if its whack for what it could ever be sold for realistically, you kinda need to get an appraisal done. Also Medicaid will want it sold at “arms length”, so no FSBO to family or a neighbor at less than FMV. It easier to have a Realtor do the sale to avoid any issues like this.

Should the Realtor want things done (fresh paint, updated appliances, some landscaping) to make it more market ready, those costs need to be paid for by your mom as she is the property owner. If you pay for things and are wanting to be reimbursed from Act of Sale $, that will pose an issue for Medicaid as it looks like gifting. Medicaid tends to take the position that what we do for our parents or their property we do out of a sense of familial responsibility AND WITHOUT EXPECTATION to be reimbursed. Trying to get Medicaid to look at any $ from mom to you other than gifting will not be simple to get done.
If it needs to be sold “as is”, please make that clear to Realtor. Realtors tend to push the seller to do things as they know a refreshed house will sell better. If the $ is not there, make it beyond clear that nothing will be done; that it is truly “as is”.

Please do check to see if your mom is current on property taxes. If she has gone delinquent and she cannot pay them, delinquency can usually be taken out from her Act of Sale $. Ask the Realtor about this to make sure. Be aware that unpaid property taxes have significant interest & fees placed.

Nothing you do or say will get her to understand. She has dementia, which literally means “out of one’s mind.” She won’t get better, only worse. Proceed on those premises and do what you have to do. Sorry for your difficulty.

If mom has dementia she can no longer make decisions about her safety, welfare, finances, health.
Who ever is POA should do what they have to do and sell the property, funds to be used for mom's care. (if the property has been vacant for a while and has been devalued due to neglect it is partly the responsibility of the POA who should have stepped in and managed this as soon as POA was effective)

Check with a real estate company, some states require a separate POA for property sale.

I found this out helping my dad sell a property in NV and we needed to get this specific POA signed. Thankfully he was able to understand and sign, otherwise it would have had to wait until he passed.

I would just sell the property. However, you need to get a certified appraisal, because it may be a complete tear down and have no value beyond the land. You want this document if Medicaid will be in the picture, they will need proof from a pro to accept anything below Fair Market Value.

My MIL gave a very comprehensive power of attorney to my husband, adding my name and daughter in case something happened to him right after my FIL passed. It was a good thing. Her house was a hoarder house, just an awful place and she couldn’t see or smell it, because she was inured to it.

She didn’t want anyone to come to help her, wanted to see if she could manage (hadn’t been out of the house in 2 years, hadn’t driven in years). She got lost the first time she was out and it took her 4 hours to get home.

Things went downhill from there. She is now in assisted living. Once she was in assisted living, it was clear she was never going to return home. She thought the house was haunted. It took about 2 months with a lot of help to get all the stuff accumulated over 60 years out of the house to include feces destroyed furniture and crammed stuff in the attic.

Not much was salvageable. The house was falling down around her. People thought nobody was living there when she was living there.

With the pandemic, it took 7 months to fix it and the eighth month to go to settlement. We were so happy it sold before interest rates went up. It was a millstone around her neck and ours. My MIL just didn’t realize what a pain it was because she had never had to worry about anything regarding the house. Her husband took care of everything. When he passed, she thought her son would be the same. He is more like her. He doesn’t know much and looks at me. I marched him to the house, pointed out the problems, called the appropriate contractors- exterminators, plumbers, electricians, and then tamed with him about how best to sell the house. I even found someone to cut the grass and take care of the landscaping until everything was completed.

We did tell her the house sold. I thought it might be a good idea. It probably wasn’t. She was angry, but she is perpetually angry and enjoys being in that state. She feels that she has not gotten what she wanted - to make everybody miserable in their own home and to buy, buy, buy, and spend down her money on trash nobody wants. She wanted to live in my remodeled detached garage with a dog that isn’t house trained. I told her that the house rules would be too burdensome for her - senior daycare, no shopping, no dog, that she’d not be able to watch tv all day and that she would have to get out regularly to be with people. Not in her personality. Where she is, works perfectly for her and she receives the care she needs and the house no longer needs to be taken care of nor does it attract unwanted attention.

Most likely, yes. As POA, I sold Mom's house and contents and parked the proceeds to pay for her care.

You don't need to make her understand. Sell it and use any monies toward her care. If she asks about it, you say it had to be fumigated since it has been sitting empty. If she asks again, you tell her you are having it painted. And again - you tell her the painters spilled paint and it had to be recarpeted. And again - go back and start again.

It was very sad when I did this. One of the few things she could remember was her address and she very clearly wanted to move back home, even when she had long left reality. But I used the money to pay for her care.

One note - when I sold it, I hunted for a realtor who specialized in selling senior citizen's homes, and she had taken the time to become certified in this area. She understood what I needed right away and was a great help. When I went to the closing, they also were prepared for this kind of sale, and told me exactly what I had to sign, and how I was to sign it (many words which in essence said I was acting for the older adult) and how many times I had to sign that way (many times lol).

My Moms POA was immediate so I didn't need a Doctor making a formal diagnosis of Dementia. My POA said I could buy and sell property in her name. I had no problems doing this. But, you do have to sell at Market value if Medicaid maybe needed in next 5 yrs.

I never gave my Mom choices after the early stages. Of course Mom thinks she is going home. She is in her own little world. There is no reasoning with her because that ability is gone.

Your roles have changed. You are now the parent and Mom the child. You just make her decisions for her or nothing will ever get done. The one thing that bugged me when Mom was in Rehabs and the AL was they asked her "do you want to go to therapy" "do you need to go to the toilet" Of course Mom said no. I told one aid just tell her or take her. I was told the other residents say the aides are mean when they don't ask. The therapist that asked if she wanted to go to therapy, I said just take her. I never gave my Mom a choice. "Come on Mom time to get a shower" She went with me with no problem.