My brother who lives in the same state as our mother is DPOA. He has Parkinson’s and it appears monies are not always used for mother. My assumption is that sister-in-law and brother pay themselves for Service. $200 to $300 a month. My mom pays her own bills. They only take her to the doctor.
I live in another state and would like to either have it revoked or just add myself as active, since I am currently alternate. Can this happen while not in state? Mom is lucid, but 95.
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The POA should have in it that the person holding the POA gets paid. Him taking money without back up could effect Mom getting help with Medicaid in the future. Even if his DPOA is immediate, Mom is of sound mind to make her own decisions. Seems he is making sure everything is changed in his favor. Mom maybe signing because she is afraid of son. OPs previous email says a new will was drawn up by brother and has everything going to him and even wifes family. Why should wifes family get anything.
OP needs to her Mom and take her to a lawyer who can determine if Mom is competent to sign anything. If she is, she can revoke brother as POA and make a new will. OP has been posting since Aug 2021 about brother.
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I would suggest a family conference to work things out.
You can't just take over unless your brother is incapacitated or gives it up. His wife is not allowed to take over for him as I assume she's not an alternate.
My advice would be to leave it alone & trust brother & SIL are doing right by her.
My husband and I have done everything (Dr visits, prescriptions, all financial responsibilities like banking, bills, rent, clothing etc) for an 85 yr old aunt with dementia living in a memory care facility. We don't pay ourselves, but it definitely takes a toll....most people have no idea. We are the only family she has left and I don't know what happens to other people in her situation with no one to take care of them.