My husband has been declining since 2011, with COPD, coronary heart disease, lumbar back disease, early on dementia, and is bedbound. Any advice?

"even my daughter has stopped being a part of my life…she says we can’t do anything together or enjoy each other, because her stepdad has taken over my life…"

I think this is a little callous on your daughters part.

If you are suffering financial hardship because of his care then you need to place him. Yes, you would need a lawyer if there are assets but if none you maybe able to file for Medicaid as a Community Spouse. Call your local Medicaid office and ask how it works. As the Community Spouse you remain in the home, have a car and get enough or all of your monthly income of SS and pension/s.

On Medicaid, he will continue with his Medicare and Medicaid will become his suppliment paying for anything Medicaid doesn't. His prescription, dental and vision should be covered. His care will be taken care of, you just visit.

First I have to say that there is no "time allowed to be on Hospice." A patient will be reevaluated every 6 months and if they are showing continued decline, they will stay under hospice care. The fact that your husband was released from their care tells me that he had improved enough for their services not to be needed. Meaning that they felt he would not be dead in 6 months.
My husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life,(and I was his caregiver for over 24 years)and I know that there are others on this forum whose loved ones were under hospice care for even longer than that.
It sounds like you burned out mentally, emotionally and financially. So now you must do what is not only best for your husband, but for yourself as well.
Like others have suggested, see an Elder Care attorney to better understand your rights as his wife, and if need be you can apply for Medicaid for him, and get him placed in the appropriate facility, so you can get back to just being his wife and advocate.
May God bless you and keep you.

You need to make financial plans now so you can look at the long picture. You need to preserve and protect whatever assets you have because there needs to be something left to take care of you when it’s your turn. Leaving all that responsibility to your daughter wouldn’t be fair to her. I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time and I know you’re exhausted, but taking care of yourself is of utmost importance.

Have you seen an elder care lawyer to divide assets to make sure you will have enough funds for yourself? I don't know how that works, but a neighbor told me she did that and if you do that you may be able to apply for medicaid for him. He might need further care than you can offer now, so home care or assisted living could be better for him and you. You would become his wife again instead of his caregiver and be able to also spend time with your daughter.

There comes a time when you have to consider placing your husband in a long term care facility. Such as when he's taken over your entire life for the past 11 years and things just keep going downhill daily. You've already lost the ability to spend any time with your daughter for taking care of your husband 24/7. Please look into Skilled Nursing for him now, and apply for Medicaid if you haven't the funds to self-pay. See a Certified Elder Care attorney for guidance about getting Medicaid and how to protect yourself and stay afloat while placing your husband so that you aren't destitute.

Wishing you the best of luck.

I’m so sorry about your husband.

Are you considering placement for him?

Have you applied for Medicaid?