First time moving out with a disabled parent as a caregiver and we're leaving alone. Any advice?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/not-sure-if-i-can-take-this-any-longer-what-can-i-do-470326.htm

You posted this time last year and looks like nothing has changed. I suggested at the time that Mom apply for Social Security Disability. It costs her nothing. She gets a SS Lawyer and he handles everything. He gets paid from the retro money received. Once you are OKd for disability, you get a lump payment from the day you applied. Your local Social Service Dept should be able to help you.

Changing States will effect her Medicaid. It does not go from State to State. And the New England States are not where you want to be.

Where are you getting Money to live on? Is Mom getting Supplimental Income? Housing voucher? I am sorry, but if you can't handle doing the research, you are not going to be able to handle a move with no help. In ur last post u just turned 18. Your sister needs to figure this out. Your Moms health seems bad enough for her to be placed in LTC. I know, last thing you want to do but you need to have a life. Training for a good job.

You need help from professionals. Call Office of Aging. As if they can help you with your situation. Your local Social Services should help. I think moving will just cause more problems for you. Sorry, but people just don't come knocking on your door. You have to get out there and find help. Its is out there. Wish you had come back to the forum last year. We could have continued to help. Office of Aging should be your first stop.

I agree with others that Boston is a poor choice. Go south. Charlotte, NC. Greenville, SC. Columbia, SC. Charleston, SC. Or somewhere in South Georgia, like Macon. Prices are very high in Florida compared to the cities I’ve mentioned. My Carolinas recommendations have great health care and nice climate. People are friendly to outsiders. It’s better if you live on the outskirts of the city in a small town where cost of living is lower.

Nekurasamurai, how old are you? What are your thoughts about your future and what would you like to do?

Boston is extremely expensive, and it doesn't have great weather. The city has good mass transit, but it's crowded. I go there for some medical consults. The care is good but expensive. Unless your family is wealthy and can provide a lot of financial support this is a bad idea. Twelve years ago my stepson's rent for a small one bedroom was $1800.00 per month. Do you have enough funds to pay rental deposits? Your Medicaid won't transfer from another state. You will have to reapply when you've established residency. The same residency requirements would apply for other benefits.

Is family going to pay for the move? Buying your mother a bed and mattress?

If you're massively burned out where you are, then trust me -- you're going to have a very, very difficult time getting acclimated to a new place and city. Moving and finding a way to fit in to a new area's culture and pace is extremely stressful in the best of circumstances, so I wouldn't recommend doing this.

I wouldn't move anywhere until and unless I had ALL these questions answered BEFOREHAND. Moving to a new and very, very expensive city before you have housing set up, along with the rest of your mother's myriad needs, is a big mistake in my opinion.

Moving to a city with a milder climate, as suggested, and a lower cost of living, is a much better idea, AFTER you research and get your living accommodations set up in advance. Along with ALL of your mother's medical needs, medications, etc.

In other words, New Mexico, sure, or a Florida city, or any number of other southern states in the USA where the cost of living is WAY less expensive than Boston MASS comes to mind. Avoid the east coast, in other words, that's my suggestion. Anyone on a fixed/limited income would do well to avoid the east or west coast cities, really.

Why Boston? Winters there can be quite brutal, and it's VERY expensive to live there. And why do you feel that your mother is your responsibility? If she is that bad off, there should be no problem with her qualifying for disability right?
You are NOT responsible for your mothers care. You are young and deserve to live the life you want away from her and her care. And your other family member that is overworked to try to provide financial support for you both shouldn't be doing that either. You both are NOT their responsibility. Only their immediate family is.
If your mother requires that much care that you can't live and enjoy your life away from her, then she may have to be placed in the appropriate facility. There are Medicaid facilities that you may have to look into for her, so you can be free from this very unfair responsibility. You deserve better! Please know that. And don't settle for anything less.

Boston gets bad winters. It's also extremely expensive. I don't understand what you expect by moving to a city like Boston when you're on Medicaid and you're reliant on family for money.

Re-evaluate your plan vis a vis Boston. Find a state that has a milder climate and a low cost of living. Consider that it will take time for you to establish eligibility in whatever state you move to as Medicaid is state run.

The Northeast is a great place, but it's also wildly expensive. A move of the type you're talking about is going to take a lot of planning and if you're burnt out, it may not be the best idea. You just can't land in Boston in the winter without housing lined up. Since mom has so many health issues, start out by getting in touch with someone in MA Medicaid offices.

I'm curious as to why you are moving to Boston? It's a great city but it sounds like sooooo much work for you to make it happen. Not sure where you're coming from, but Boston is pretty expensive.

I wish I had some concrete advice for you but all I can wish you is good luck.

I found this organization, they may be able to help?

https://www.multiplesystematrophy.org/msa-resources/for-care-partners/