I'm having trouble turning my brain off and sleeping. Any advice?

Reading this post plus your profile makes it real that you’re doing a job far beyond what any one person should be, or is really even capable of sustaining. Your family is hugely taking advantage of your kindness. It’s not your fault that you can’t adequately sleep, no wonder, there’s far too much responsibility resting all on you. Please let your family know you cannot keep this up and a new plan must be found for grandma’s ongoing care, in both of your best interests. I wish you peace and rest

Might be PTSD. You really need to get out of this. She can’t get better and you could get a lot worse.

So sorry you are having this experience. May I make a few suggestions:
1 - Start by talking with your grandma's doctor. She definitely is having sleep disturbances and needs some medications to help her relax and stay asleep. It would be worth it to have her evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist - preferably geriatric psychiatrist - who can prescribe medications that work well for the older generations.

2 - See a counsellor and/or psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. You are "anticipating" a rough night of broken sleep so you in essence wake up and "wait" for the disturbance. It really is a new sleep habit you have created. So getting Gram to sleep through the night is the start, then creating new habits for yourself to help ease back to sleep. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help you sleep better while you deal with the other issues.

Texasgirl, I am concerned that according your profile you have been at this since 2017, when you graduated from high school.

Sleep deprivation is bad. This situation could go on for years. . . What are your plans and why is a facility out of the question?

I’m wondering if your beloved grandma would truly want you to sacrifice your current health and future wellbeing like this.

Hi, am reading this and thinking I could have written it myself. I don’t have any answers but you’re definitely not alone!!

What you are experiencing is very common and really more like a PTSD response. You have anxiety. I was an amazing sleeper my whole life. 7-8 hours uninterrupted knock out sleep was my norm. No sleep issues at all and I could sleep through anything. Then my husband was DX with ALS and it changed me forever. He passed over 4 years ago and I still sometimes wake up in a panic in the middle of the night. Now with my fathers dx of ALZ it is more frequent. I have a prescription for Ativan and on nights where I simply have to get good sleep I take one. Works like a charm and I don’t feel groggy the next day. You can also give it to you LO if you get them a prescription. It’s a controlled substance so DON’T give it unless they have a prescription for it. Some people say that it can can hasten decline in an ALZ patient, and not to sound crass or uncaring, but would that be such a bad thing? The way I look at it is that the least amount of time someone has to live with this terminal beast of a disease the better for them.

I haven't read all the other answers. My thoughts are that it's tme to put her in a home. Sleep is so so very important for mental and physical health, and you are risking developing insomnia from this.
I went through it with my son. He used to call all hours and sign me up for things on the computer that would randomly call me at all hours of the night. I had to change my phone number and not give it to him. But that was after I developed severe insomnia. I would go 3 nights in a row with 0 minutes of sleep, then sleep 4 hours, then a few days again... I ended up having a mental breakdown. Don't risk your health, please!
Now I take sleeping meds and use an app called Better Sleep. I listen to sleep sounds, and on rough nights put on a meditation or a story. It's neat having your phone read you a bedtime story!

I had a similar situation with my husband. He has mild dementia and prostrate problems which cause him to get up at least 4 times a night to urinate. Once he turned the light on to get up I was fully awake and unable to go back to sleep for hours (he fell asleep as soon as he returned to bed).  After about 6 months of limited sleep, I decided I needed to move into another bedroom. I put a baby monitor in his room and moved upstairs to the spare bedroom. I found that as long as I didn’t have to be subjected to the “light” I could eventually get back to sleep although it took some time (hours some nights). Speed forward a few months and I was once again awake half the night because he would call me to come help him (even when he really didn’t require assistance - I think he just needs to know someone is there if he needs them). I spoke with my PCP and he suggested I try taking 5-HTP to sleep at night and use an app called Headspace (meditation app) to fall asleep again.  I scoffed at first but when it became unbearable, I took his advice and bought the 5-HTP supplement (Walgreens) and downloaded the Headspace app (I’m sure there are many other apps out there less expensive than Headspace). It took about 2 weeks for me to acclimate to the 5-HTP (I take 150 mg but I suggest you start at 50mg and go from there); however, I can still get up if I’m needed without feeling “drugged”. As soon as I get back in bed I activate the Headspace app for sleep (my favorite is under “falling back to sleep” – Racing Mind. It’s a 10 minute meditation that has me back asleep before it finishes…… It has literally saved my sanity

Your description of waking with your heart pounding reminds me of my former sleep issues. I got tested for, and diagnosed with, sleep apnea, and now have a CPAP machine which enables me to sleep through the night.

I agree with others who encourage you to find a way to get your grandmother into care. As the sole caregiver for my mom who lives with me, I am pursuing care for her because it’s getting to be much for me to manage.

Talk to her doctor about medication that can lessen the anxiety and maybe allow her to sleep better.
I have to tell you though if you are getting up at night to change her you will still be getting up at night long after your role as caregiver ends.
It was probably a full year before I was able to sleep through the night fully not waking to listen if my Husband was restless. (although I never had him screaming or beating on the walls)
Hiring an overnight caregiver is an option as well (grandma pays for caregivers)
If this can not be managed and it effects you mentally and physically it might be that you have to look into Memory Care for her.