Having a durable POA with my brother isn't working. Any advice?

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izofgreen Asked October 2022

Having a durable POA with my brother isn't working. Any advice?

My mom moved in with me in 2021, my brother was her POA, and I was a successor agent before she moved here. Once she moved here the poa was changed where myself and my brother have a durable POA. I found out recently while he had control of my mother's finances he has taken a sum of $33,000 over the yrs. Now that I am in control of her finances too (I wasn't on her bank accts until August of 2021, it was just him), he claims he is entitled and it is his birthright to take money out of her accts each month. I told him no, I need to account for that money for Medicad. He refuses to listen to me. She cannot revoke his POA because she isn't of sound mind due to the fact she has Alzheimer's/ Dementia. How can I stop him from taking money from her accts each month without a court process? I have already talked to my mom's elder law attorney and they said that they would have to ask my mom if she wanted to remove my brother (her son) from the POA. She wouldn't do that. I also have a caregiver contract with my mom, and my brother apparently thinks I am getting paid, why shouldn't he!

Alzheimer's & Dementia Elder Abuse Elder Law Power of Attorney (POA) Siblings

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score 10 · Answer 1

You badly need the advice of an attorney. The POA you hold pays for this service. This is sounding like elder fraud, so you need to take all your evidence with you. This is far too complicated an issue for any on Forum to guess at. Sure do wish you luck. Be certain to take your POA documents and any evidence of wrongdoing with you to the attorney. Be certain you are paying by the hour for questions you have.

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score 7 · Answer 2

Unless the POA reads there is compensation, your brother cannot pay himself. You are right that it will effect her Medicaid. He is stealing her money no matter how he looks at it.

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score 6 · Answer 3

Are you named jointly or jointly and severally? If you can act alone the simplest thing might be to change her bank and not give him access to the new account.

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We have Poa as both, can act alone but have to tell each when something is done

(1)

score 6 · Answer 4

Turn his name into Medicaid because they go back 5yrs explain to them what he did and tell him that Medicaid will come after that money that he took out. I know this because I am dealing with Medicaid for my BIL who has been on it now for 9yrs. I will have to show Medicaid where his money went when he passes away.

My sister in law is dealing with that right now, they will send out a letter after the person has passed away and then they want you to explain where the money is like in her problem she was rep payee for her brother and they sent a letter stating someone owes Medicaid $39,000 and they want paid.

So I would explain it to your brother from now on he doesn't touch a dime of her money or otherwise he will have to pay back that money and yes they can put a lien on his house if he has a house.

Prayers

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Thank you for the information, I will need it in the future.

(0)

score 4 · Answer 5

Call Adult Protective Services and ask if they can get a judge to put a "Cease and Desist" order on him or appoint a guardian to handle the money issues. Smells like elder abuse to me!

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score 3 · Answer 6

I was my mother's POA for everything. In case I was unable to do it all my brother and niece were second in line. It worked out very well. Our lawyer told me never to put two people or more on any legal document. I am glad I listened. I had problems with a very close brother in the past. When my dad died he thought he was entitled to his share, He even wrote a will and wanted me to sign it, but I refused and the relationship was not the same. Sad but true, He also wanted me to sell the house, and Mom and I live in senior housing. That would be the day when I would uproot my mom so he could get his share. Seek out a good elder attorney and go from there.

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What your brother did does not even make sense since Mom is still alive. You can't do a Will for someone else. Not even the POA, so u signing means nothing.

(3)

score 2 · Answer 7

izofgreen: Perhaps you should retain your own elder law attorney and pose these queries to him/her.

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score 1 · Answer 8

Yes to what Cwillie wrote and also talk to an attorney and *after* you move the banking and secure all other of her assets away from him, talk to an attorney and tell your brother you're talkiing to an attorney to force him to divulge the info.

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score 1 · Answer 9

Hello JoAnn,
My mother put only my name on everything after my dad died. We consulted an attorney and that is what he recommended. My dad had no will. He wanted to discuss everything and draw up a will but I refused to discuss it. My brother typed a will and wanted me to sign it, but I declined. There is no legal requirement that a person hires an attorney. Self-prepared is valid.

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score 0 · Answer 10

I agree about the need to consult the attorney. Also how could you be getting paid if he has been controlling the money? Wouldn’t that mean he paid you? My real question is what state do you live in that allows her Medicaid when she even has assets? My Dad has no assets but his monthly social Security is too high so he does not qualify. My aunt and uncle have a small home and his pension from being a trucker so she does not qualify. Im not judging I’m just really curious.

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Having a durable POA with my brother isn't working. Any advice?

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