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Lisa42561 Asked October 2022

My mother is awake from about 2 pm until midnight, about 8-10 hours a day. Is this concerning? She prefers to sleep above all other activities.

BlueEyedGirl94 Oct 2022
My first thought is no - it's probably not concerning. If it isn't causing any issues. As people age - I guess very much like babies and young children- I think it is normal for them to actually need more sleep. But also - I think sometimes when people are bored or even a little depressed, they counter that with sleep. Additionally, also like babies and young children - they can get their days and nights mixed up and once they get into a certain cycle it's difficult to change it.

My FIL runs about the same cycle your mother is awake. Some days more, and some days actually even less. The most he is usually awake is about 12 hours. The least I think we have clocked him at is about 5-6 hours. We generally leave him alone but a couple of things we were concerned about and talked to his doctor about.

1. His medications. He has "morning" and "night time" medications. Doctor advised to give morning meds whenever he decides to wake up and to make sure he has at least 7 or 8 hours between the night time meds. So honestly,,,there are days that he has missed the night time meds. Since he mostly takes duplicates morning and night, that's not such a huge deal, but there are a couple that he has missed a couple of times that he only takes once a day as a result - the doctor is aware of the issue (and FIL is competent and could stay awake but lays back down in his bed to watch tv and goes back to sleep intentionally with his cpap on)
2. Blood Sugar - this was resolved by getting him a continuous glucose monitor that alerts SIL if his blood sugar drops too low or goes too high. That way he can sleep to his heart's content and we don't have to worry.
3. He gets up to things that are worrisome at night LOL. We haven't figured out a solution for this one. Random repair people for cable and internet or phone will show up at the door first thing in the morning because he has called for things that have been "disconnected" (operator error) after BIL/SIL have gone to bed at night and he won't let them know about it. He will spill popcorn all over the floor, or flood the bathroom or knock his drink over or begin a random wild search for something in his files in the middle of the night and SIL will wake up to his room looking like a hurricane struck because he will take everything out but expect her to put everything back.

I guess my point is, if her sleeping isn't causing any issues, major interruptions of her medication that cause health problems, major problems for you - I would probably just let it go. Honestly, the more my FIL sleeps, the easier it is for all of us. It's what he gets up to when he is awake and everyone else is asleep that is problematic LOL!

Geaton777 Oct 2022
Your profile says she is 83 yrs old and has dementia/ALZ. This disease can wreak havoc on one's sleep cycles, sometimes not permanently.

You ask if this is "concerning". I agree with the other responders that if I were in your situation, I'd say no, unless it is impacting your life in a negative way. If her staying up until midnight is causing you to not go to bed earlier and it's a problem for you, then I'd maybe work on adjusting her sleep cycle for waking/sleeping, but maybe not worry about how many hours she's sleeping.

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CTTN55 Oct 2022
Is it keeping you up? If not, let her be.

In your profile, you wrote: "I moved my mother in with us 1.5 yrs ago after my father died and their home had to be sold asap. I gave up work and other activities to be home with her 24/7 as she is a fall risk and has dementia. It's been very difficult as she needs assistance for bathing and dressing, and would sleep all day if left alone. I get her meals, medications, take her to the dr, etc. Sometimes I feel as if I'm keeping her alive against her will! "

So you're the 24/7/365 caregiving slave. How did this happen?

And you gave up work for this?

babsjvd Oct 2022
My mom would not go to bed .. frustrated staff at memory care.. she would sit up at all hours of the night playing her candy crush.. no amount of chiding helped … if it’s not keeping you up , it’s ok. My mom slept more as her time came….

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