Hello, I am 56 years old and have an older brother and a younger brother. My mom is 84 and thinks she is dying even though no doctors ever find anything wrong with her. Pains in her chest, she is going to a stress test in about 10 days. I have been the sole live-in caregiver the past 13 1/2 years after she came home from a horrific car accident. Anyway, am taking her to the lawyer this coming week to change her Will. She has my older brother as the executor and wants to add my younger brother. I probably won't get on it as an executor even though I want to. So my younger brother says this morning for her to put in the Will that I can have everything in the house, except the piano which is his. I rather have an estate sale, except for the piano, and split it 3 ways. My younger brother says everything in the house is worthless, but he is worth many millions, so it might be worthless to him to bother about any of it. He hasn't been here since 1989. My mom has good taste and the house is filled with expensive things, not to mention the Silverware. I do not think I will be able to handle it all by myself. I think I'll need help. My mom is resistant about going around the house putting a value on the thousands of things she owns too. Having no money I need everything I can get from it, but I need help from my brothers , and I want to split it 3 ways. Instead they want it all on me.
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You should hire a company to do the estate sale. Because no matter where the money goes, your 2 brothers aren't going to be boots on the ground help.
You can start an inventory and research on the best place to sell now, that way you have a bit of a grip when you inherit the house stuff.
Truly collectable items should be auctioned through large well known auction houses.
Doing research will also help you stay real in what you perceive is the value.
My mother had a large house and perfectly decorated. She was an interior decorator. I kept the things I wanted. I gave a lot to a charity auction that she always supported. Sold a few things at a very small fraction of what they were worth.
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If your mom owns her house, I would hope her attorney encourages her to create a trurt, not merely a will, because you all will pay to probate her estate will only a will.
Also, there should never be two executors unless they're very much on the same page about everything. My mom and her sister were co-executors, but they never had drama between them anyway so it worked. I wouldn't recommend it otherwise.
I think they are are giving you a gift. There is no way that Mom knows the value of things. Some things that sold for hundreds/thousand ten years ago, no one wants now. That goes for Moms China and Silver. My 45yr old and 37 yr old daughters could care less about my stuff.
When Mom passes, you clean out. You have an antique dealer come in and tell you what her items are worth, they may buy them. Then you have an estate sale. You get more than at a yard sale. Whats left, have a yard sale. Whats left...donate.
That said, whomever is the executor is in charge of liquidating the estate. They do it according to the will not according to their wishes. If the will is explicit in who gets the piano then that person gets it. If not, the household holdings are sold and the things distributed according to the will.
As I said, I would not put up with this for a second. That you are? Well, you are, so just step away and let them all continue on their merry way. If you are not mentioned in the will to be executor you have nothing to say. And there should be ONE executor with a contingent if wanted or needed.
When you ASK why you are doing all the care and others are getting all the responsibility I sure would love to know what she is answering you.