Independent/assisted living facility asking for 10-15% of rent in annual tips. Is this the norm?

sloparkys,, glad you cleared this up!! I can say that in my Dads MC, and at the hospital where I work,, we are thrilled to get ANYTHING !! cash is not allowed, but we love fruit baskets, pastries,, anything edible! You can tell Mom you are baking lots of cookies to take in..she can deliver them when you do and they will be thrilled and fuss over her all day! And she can "share" them with the other residents too! If its too much to bake alot for you,, some of the grocery stores have good deals on prebaked cookies or Costco/Sam for trays already made up. we also took cookies to Mom's rehab when she was there. They are both sadly passed now but I still drop things off sometimes.

That's not only absurd, it's unethical. No one should be giving tips or gifts to the employees so as to avoid any preferential treatment or the appearance of it.

The expectation of tipping has gotten absolutely out of control. I just went to a locksmith shop today and had four copies of my house key made, and their credit card machine was actually programmed like a restaurant's and it asked how much I wanted to tip. The cashier averted his eyes momentarily so as to avoid seeing how much I was going to tip, so he didn't see me put a big, fat $0. I couldn't believe it!

I routinely took fruit and veggie trays to my uncles NH. I made sure I took trays for the evening shift. I took donuts and coffee for overnight shift. When I was in the nursing home they worked 12 hour shifts. I ordered pizza delivery for both shifts. For the lady who did my showers and my PT guy I gave gift cards when I went home.

I have to apologize to everyone here. I should have known not to take the word of my mother-in-law, who is getting confused. This whole thing is something created my the community, not the facility. And no one is recommending 10-15%. Jeez. I’m sorry.

Moderator: you can delete this thread if you like.

HA! Sounds like something my mother with dementia would have cooked up and then sworn to God was the gospel truth! Glad you sorted this all out OP!

I always wrote a check for $100 at Christmas for the staff at mom's AL, plus I brought in sweets and treats for everyone.

No. This is not appropriate. I agree with AlvaDeer and also find this absolutely disgusting.
I worked in an AL facility for some time. I have never heard of aides, housekeeping, kitchen workers, or anyone else on staff ever receiving tips. No way.
AL's and independent-living facilities is collect obscene amounts of money from every resident occupying one of their places. Things like meals, housekeeping, handyman services, aide care, and transportation to appointments are why seniors move to their places. These things are included in the obscene amount of rent that gets paid every month.
So the AL or independent-living community who wants residents to start tipping the staff should reconsider what they do with the money they collect. Instead of making shareholders who own stock in these places richer, they can start paying their help better wages. Then there would be no need to ask the staff to demean themselves by begging for tips from the elderly residents.
If I were you I would take this letter they sent your MIL and make some copies. Send one to your state's Ombudsman's office. Send one to yoru state's Attorney General. Send one to your state's Agency on Aging (if there is one). This may actually be illegal to hit them up for money.
In the meantime, tell your MIL that she already pays for all of these things in her rent payment every month and that she should not give a 'tip' for a service she's already paid very well for.

I hate tipping in every instance. Pay your employees a fair wage. Tell me the price up front and I will agree or not to purchase your service. I hate trying to keep track of who should get a tip or not and how much.

I have never heard of that. It was strictly against policy at my mom's AL, they would suggest a $125 donation at Christmas from each resident to put in a pool for staff gifts, that is all. This seems very wrong to me.

The facility my mother was in also did this. We participated in a small modest way — never the huge percentage that was suggested. I felt that as a ‘for profit’ business, the facility was out of line to ask residents to contribute even more than their already high stay costs. I’m sure the CEOs and Presidents of these organizations are taking home large salaries and bonuses. Perhaps that wealth should be shared with those who actually DO the work to make the business successful. Novel thought.

Next we'll be asked to tip police officers and the mayor!! Tips were originally designed to help those who don't get at least minimum wage, and relied on tips for their income (like wait staff), not for those earning $15-$20/hr (or more). The tipping thing has gotten way out of control! As a teacher, I used to get so angry that I'd be paying high taxes for services already, yet neighbors would try to tell me I needed to tip those receiving more pay than I did (police officers, USPS, recycling and waste management, lawn care, newspaper delivery, etc.) I think it's nuts to make people pay for services, then expect to 'tip' just because their employers don't want to give them more money.