I have been looking for someone to spend a couple of hours with my parents, who live with me, once a week, making puzzles, taking walks, etc. I don't actually need the extra help at present, but my mom has dementia and my dad is nearly 90 and frail, so I anticipate needing help in the future. I've identified a great person and after several trial visits, I'd like to start paying her by the hour. I don't know how much to offer her, however. Right now, she's not a caregiver/housekeeper/anything like that but rather is just spending time with them. Looking for suggestions, thank you.
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Two of them are Physical Therapy Assistants that I pay $20/hour.
The third sitter I pay $17/hour because that is what she quoted to me when she started in 2020.
All in all, it totals out to around $2000/month.
All they have to do when they are with my mom is to literally sit with her in the kitchen and listen to quiet music and offer her water, beverages, snacks, etc., and talk with her as much as possible. They also have to escort her to the bathroom and potentially help her clean herself.
I would recommend that you offer an hourly rate that you feel is fair depending on the level of caregiving that is needed and what you can afford. I turned down a couple of potential sitters because they wanted more per hour than I could reasonably afford.
they were ambulatory when I first met them. By the end, she had Lewy- dementia Parkinson’s and he extreme arthritic issues, overweight, and a heart valve issue plus dementia expressed in a different way.
since what you’re needing is just social interaction, no heavy duty caregiving whatsoever, I would keep the pay low to start. You have to give yourself room to grow when the work becomes more cumbersome as this can become an extreme burden on your pocketbook and you’ll need every penny.
when I hired someone, private party, I paid them $12 hours for the first four hours. This was training. To see if they liked it and I liked them. If we both did, Then it was immediately $13 for two weeks. Again a trial. See if we still like each other and could trust each other. Then I would raise it to $14 for one month then $15 an hour and it stayed there. I also eventually paid time and a half for a few major holidays just so that I could get some relief because everybody would like that time off. The incremental paying also helped me keep a caregiver for a while. They had incentive to stay. Caregivers are very flighty and you never know how they’re gonna perform in your house until they’re actually there. It’s not easy finding the one you think is right for you. Oh and you didn’t ask about this I’m sorry but definitely get nanny cams. You would be amazed at how much they help. And tell everybody everything upfront if they’re not willing to live with that than you Have easily eliminated some people didn’t want to hire anyway.
I did have a company I worked with, but very few caregivers were available as I was extremely picky and there was a lot of work to do with this couple. Those people got paid anywhere from $22-$35 an hour. In retrospect, I see that the private caregivers were paid yes considerably less. But they really like the freedom of not working for an agency.
The Dole Foundation has caregiver grants for veterans’ caregivers.
https://www.elizabethdolefoundation.org/hidden-heroes/
You say “right now” and that makes me wonder if you’d like to someday start adding on to his/her duties.
Some things to consider… we, as BabyBoomers, are an economic force like nothing that has been seen before. The growth of the caregiving
industry has grown exponentially so there are many shady companies who don’t have your parents best interest in mind. Just keep that in mind.
As for paying some to play games and generally keep your parents occupied, is if that’s light duty for a caregiver is wrong. That is one of the most difficult parts of it and I will assume it’s why you’d like help with it. To start it may only be one or two hours… most agencies have a 4 hour minimum.
if you can find an independent to do this pay him/her at least 30 an hour. Make it worth his/her travel time.
From experience I can tell you that you will ‘go through’ several before you find a good match.
Good luck, love and light
I just moved in with a dear friend and I am exhausted after just a couple weeks - he shadows me, constantly repeats himself and talks nonstop. I was fading myself under the pressure. He is a very kind person and of course is in denial of any memory issues etc.,. I am slowly adjusting and utilizing some of the wonderful tips recommended here. Thanks to all of you kind people! Sending Love your way… pass it on!
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I'd offer her $20 and see how it goes. My mom's caregivers get $25/hour and the ones through an agency charges me $30. Maybe start with 3 hours?
I'd think about making a list of things you would like to be done that can include the things you stated (on my list they're called games and exercise) and then add a few other household things like making their beds and doing laundry. If they do it themselves, she can have them help, etc. Making them a meal and cleaning up from it. Things like that.
Good luck.
If she starts doing more hands on then $20.00 to 25 per hour and as it becomes more involved then about $25.00 to 30 per hour.
Are there Adult Day programs in your area? If so look into that for your parents. Typically a bus/van will pick up participants and a snack or light breakfast, lunch then a snack will be served during the day and activities for both of them.
If mom or dad is a Veteran often the VA has programs that will pay for a Day program and the VA also has programs that will provide a caregiver.
Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and they can determine if they qualify for any services.