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Gracegarcia Asked November 2022

I’m caring for my mother that has dementia. I cannot care for her any longer. My sister has power of attorney. Any advice?

She need to be in a nursing home so she can get the proper care. How can I do that without having power of attorney?

Beatty Nov 2022
Have you told your sister your thoughts?
What was her reaction?
Can you work together to find the next plan for Mom's care?

Mountaingyrl Nov 2022
Let you sister know you can no longer care for your mother, and she needs to find another solution. I would give her a reasonable date to find that solution. If she can't/won't, you call the authorities and step away. I would not stay one day longer as your sister may continue to take advantage of the situation.

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JoAnn29 Nov 2022
Your sister cannot give you POA. Your Mom has to be able to revoke sister's and assign you. With Dementia Mom cannot do this. Your sister is going to need to place her. If Mom has money, it needs to be used for her care. If no money, sister will have to apply for Medicaid and place Mom. This is why you do not care for someone without having POA.

If your sister will not do what her POA allows her to do I would call APS. Tell them that there is a vulnerable Senior that needs care that you can no longer care for. That the POA refuses to place this person so you can stop doing the care.

If Mom ends up in the hospital, do not pick her up. Give them the POAs phone# and let her deal with it. You don't say if Mom is living with you or on her own. If with you, tell them she cannot be returned to your home because you will not care for her. If Moms home, again tell them to return her to her home would be an "unsafe discharge".

Putting this onto your sister may not help ur relationship. But she is being unfair not taking you in consideration when u tell her you cannot do it anymore.
mstrbill Nov 2022
Agree with this, I'm sorry I didn't have the energy to type it all out, but Gracegarcia please follow this advice, especially calling the state social worker (APS) to let them know you cannot provide the care mom needs anymore.
lealonnie1 Nov 2022
Drop mom off at your sister's house with all of her things and let her know you're caregiving days are over.

mstrbill Nov 2022
Tell your sister you are unable to care for mom any longer and that she needs to be placed in a nursing home. If sister doesn’t act, give her an ultimatum. Call a state social worker and get her to step in and help.

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