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Helplessinnc Asked November 2022

My dad has dementia and is in memory care. His behaviors seem to have improved. Is this normal?

His behaviors have gone from erratic and not holding a conversation to calling me and talking like his old self. Asking me financial questions, personal information about my life, etc. He has clarity that I haven't seen in over a year. Is this normal?

ZippyZee Nov 2022
The structured nature of MC is likely helping him.
Babs75 Nov 2022
For my dad too. For a while, they were giving him a 3x5 card every day with a schedule of what time he was doing what each day. He proudly carried it around and referred to it often.
Luta65 Nov 2022
Helplessinnc,

It's normal, the 'new normal.' Dementia manifests in varying ways but the one predictable change is that it worsens with time.

I watch my beloved mother go through similar changes. We talk daily on the phone; sometimes she sounds like her old self, but I have to keep the convo focused to not lose her or make things too complex for her. Other times, she has staff call me and is barely coherent, just enough to recognize that she's losing her grip and experiencing anxiety. I'm mostly able to talk her out of it and direct her toward her room for some time without all the stimulus of other residents and the staff on the MC unit.

Enjoy the lucid times and make the most of them while you prepare yourself for the changes to come. It's very hard to watch our parents fail and diminish in their capacities. You have the sympathy and support of many on this forum.

I wish you strength.

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lealonnie1 Nov 2022
Whats changed in Memory Care? Is he eating regularly now vs beforehand he wasn't? Getting meds administered on time regularly now vs beforehand?

You give no info on dad in your profile or in your post. How far along is he in the dementia process? Moderate, advanced? How old is he and how long has he been living in MC?

Many factors contribute to dementia but most importantly, the behaviors are not linear. Meaning the elder will act differently from day to day. My mother had days where she was practically incoherent and other days where she was acting almost totally normal. Ups and downs galore, which is very common with dementia.

If your dad was living alone, having erratic blood sugars from not eating, highly confused from too much stimuli and too many responsibilities he was facing, be may have been exhibiting more severe symptoms as a result. If he's in a managed care environment which is shrunken down, he may feel safer and less overwhelmed in general, eating more regularly, and feeling more grounded, at least for now. All bets could be off for tomorrow.

Have a chat with the staff and/or the nurse on duty to see what they're observing with dad. Speak with his doctor too....have some new meds been prescribed recently that may be contributing to his more lucid state of mind?

What I found with mom was a roller coaster of changing behaviors, emotions and reactions in general as she traveled the dementia journey in MC for just under 3 years. I never knew what to expect from one day to the next with her, which made the whole situation that much harder to deal with.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Grandma1954 Nov 2022
Once in a MC facility he is on a routine that he can count on so there is less uncertainty to clutter his mind.
If he was living on his own before it is also possible that he is eating better, getting more exercise and being around people he is more engaged and socially active.
Enjoy this time while it lasts.

Niecey804 Nov 2022
This is normal, those with dementia will have lucid clarity. People often have moments when they remember past things and speak about them.
Enjoy the moments of clarity, and journal about it.

I agree with lealonnie1, it can be an emotional roller coaster. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2021.

Best of luck

Babs75 Nov 2022
My 96 year old dad went to memory care 1-1/2 years ago and has been so stable. What a relief and a nice change. We've actually had some nice conversations. Last couple visits, he's starting to fixate again. Its very exhausting. The ED at the memory care says he's having more of a mix of good days and bad days than before. His geriatric psych says his dementia is getting worse. They do not want to increase his meds - doses are already fairly high. This is such a roller coaster. Hoping we have a better visit soon.

MJ1929 Nov 2022
Routine, routine, routine.

Your dad must be in a great MC with structure and lots of socialization. My mother was in such a place, and the structure made her so much more stable because she didn't have to think about how to do anything or when to do it anymore.

Keephope Nov 2022
I'm happy for you. Thank God for a small blessings.

ConnieCaretaker Nov 2022
A new medication? Time to meet the neurologist for a new evaluation?
Pjdela Nov 2022
Yes, I agree she should see if there are any medication changes. I know someone whose Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. They sold her home and moved her to memory care. After a while, one of her medications was discontinued. Guess what? Her dementia disappeared as well. Her medication had been causing the dementia symptoms. Too bad they sold her house.
NancyIS Nov 2022
This is wonderful! Be happy and enjoy his well-being for as long as it lasts.

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