Brain injuries, dementia and aggression. Any advice?

Ii would have gone right to the DON and informed her. They need to know about these instances. They have to be aware he has shown aggression. Yes, and your sons need to be aware of this so there are no surprises. This is not a secret you keep. I would also ask that he be given no cigarettes by anyone.

If you are talking about the door to his room, do not be alone with him again. You need to see him in the common area. A staff member can bring him to you. That way if there is any aggression, the staff is there to help. If this continues, you may have to stop your visits.

You must tell the staff at the nursing home, his doctors, your doctor, your adult sons and everyone else who might visit him. What your husband did to you is legally considered assault. You could get law enforcement and/or a psychiatrist involved. Husband is very sick now and has shown violence. He could hurt someone else or even kill them. I hope meds will calm him down, but don't count on it. Meanwhile, don't be alone with him. No one else should be alone with him, either. It's up to your son if he wants your grandson around him. Personally, I wouldn't. It doesn't matter now that grandpa is very attached to grandson. What matters is that grandson should be protected from grandpa, and he should not be subjected to a sudden rage or other behavior that a kid wouldn't understand. Tell grandson that grandpa is too sick now to have visitors and keep him away until (and if) grandpa is calm and hasn't shown signs of violence for some time. I wish you luck in this sad situation.

Both see you doctor for possible injuries and talk to husband’s doctor. You husband may need a change in medication to help with this change in behavior. For now, visit him only in the common areas of the nursing home and don’t be away from the earshot of staff. Inform your adult children to do the same. Let the director there know without question that the cigarette thing cannot happen again. Your husband isn’t to blame for this, the awful disease process is, and I’m sorry you’re all going through it

Please don’t suffer in silence. Talk about it to, for example:
-his doctor
-your doctor
-your friends
-family (it’s up to you) (only you know the advantages/disadvantages to speaking about it) (it helps to have at least one family ally; one family member who knows and who’s on your side).

Please be careful. Someone who is aggressive will do it again.

I think you need to consider this change of mental status in its medical context. Inform his doctor immediately.

He may have an infection, be dehydrated or have some other medical condition in play.

Get yourself some medical attention. It sounds like you might have a concussion.