I hear a lot of advice about putting parents in assisted living or a nursing home. How do you afford it?

Confused, welcome!

In some states, ALs will accept whatever Medicaid pays and the elder's SS and pension less a small "personal care allowance". Some will accept Medicaid only after a certain period of "private pay".

The same goes for Nursing Homes: as far as I know, all states fund long term using home care via Medicaid if an elder qualifies both medically and financially.

Your best course of action is to have a consultation with a certified eldercare attorney or Medicaid Planner in mom's state so you understand how this works.

Sell their home if they have one to help pay their expenses. If they investments or savings now is the time to spend it for their care.

Lesson learned from all of the above: don't fight to extend your life.

My brother & I sold their cars and homes, we use that money, their SS, Pensions and investments.

Average 5k a month each West Coast of Florida.

They planned that is the key or as my father said "If you do not have a plan, you plan to fail".

For my mother’s NH care, she used a long term policy that she and my dad had bought, combined with her Social Security check. The policy proved to be a mistake as it was completely exhausted in about a year. All it accomplished was shortening the time until something else had to be done. She was private pay from their savings briefly until the Medicaid process was completed, and from then on the NH was paid through her SS and Medicaid.

Confused777, with my parents, they came from the old school of saving for a "rainy day" which was common for their generation. They were children of the Great Depression.

For elders who now need a village to take care of them, thus a nursing home, the elder can apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] which will help pay for the room/care.

You have to play the Medicaid game. This won't work for most assisted living facilities as most don't take Medicaid, but nursing homes do take LTC Medicaid. Your parent will easily qualify based on the income. Whatever savings he/she has needs to be spent down (on his care) until the amount left in the bank account is under the state's limit for Medicaid qualification. The catch is your parent also needs to qualify Medically for NH care. You need a SW and a physician to recommend NH care for your parent.

You should not be the one to pay. You will need to save for your own retirement throughout your entire life in order for your own child not to send this question to a Forum. You only can afford this with a comfortable cushion of savings on top of Social Security. If that doesn't exist then there must be the spend down to whatever number the state requires to give medicaid help and your choices will be terribly limited, with very little likelihood of any ALF or MC. Just the typical nursing home, which is none too good a choice. This is the sad fact, and why so many struggle to attempt to caregive their elders which is a nearly impossible thing for their own lives.

My parents sold their home and cashed out their 2 stocks in order to afford Assisted Living. Then the VA kicked in with Aid & Attendance benefits for dad's wartime service as a soldier on the front line on Normandy Beach. That A&A benefit extended to mom after dad died, so together with their Social Security, the A&A benefits, and their savings, they spent ALL their hard earned lifetime savings of $450K (thanks mostly to the value of TWO stocks) to live in AL and then Memory Care for a total of 7 years.

That's how.

And if mom lived a few months longer than she did, I would have applied for Medicaid to fund her future care in a SNF since she had gone through all of her savings, sparing the taxpayers the need to fund her care while I squirreled away/hid those assets for my inheritance, as we hear about ALL THE TIME.

My parents sold their townhouse to afford IL and then AL. My mom passed while in IL and my dad lives in AL now. He pays about $5k a month, but both his Social Security and pension plan offset the cost and he has plenty left from the sale of their townhouse. I think selling their townhouse is a better option over Medicaid. If they don’t have a home to sell, then I guess Medicaid is an option or hiring part-time home care which is super expensive. Meals on wheels and help from church members. It’s daunting if you can’t figure out a way to afford it and then once they move to IL or AL, you will quickly discover all the additional costs and shenanigans these owners try to impose. The owners make millions but no one else does. The caring staff get screwed as do the residents monetarily. In the end, if you can afford a good AL that you have researched, your parents will receive better care and safety more than you could ever supply. They will have food, shelter and 24/7 safety plus additional services such as exercise programs or a visiting doctor, onsite therapy-all of which Medicare covers. And skilled staff which is more than the average person can provide. But you pay for it-yearly for rent increases and at any time for increased care as they have levels of care. If your parents are outgoing, they will do better. If your parents are more introverted, they will struggle a bit. Plus, just like anywhere, there will be peer pressure. I apologize, I veered from the topic. I hope you can find a sustainable way to help your parents.