How common is racist behavior in dementia?

I recently had this discussion with the managers at my mother's small, private care home. Strictly anecdotal. The staff of the facility is very racially and ethnically diverse as are the residents. The two owners/managers are both black women. They said it is common for those with Alzheimer's and dementia to hurl racial insults. (I was so relieved when they assured me that my mother has never used such language - I was not raised to be racist) They feel that, due to the frustration, anger and vulnerability of having a broken brain, residents lash out using the most hurtful, vile, impactful things they can spew. Dementia strips away their filters so there is no name nor accusation that is off-limits.

I am white, like my mother, so she can't insult me racially. Instead she accused me of being a thief, fat, selfish, ignorant, disloyal, etc. (true - I am fat)

The managers said they and the staff know to shrug it off. But I can't imagine it ever stops hurting.

All sorts of ugly words come out of the mouth of someone who's brain is broken and who's filter has flown out the window. I personally feel like some of what they say is the truth that they've been hiding all the years their filter was in place and they were acting 'socially and politically correct'. Now that that's no longer the case, all bets are off.

Your father is 100 and suffering from AD. He's also living in AL where the caregivers have seen and heard it ALL, trust me on that. He will be cut lots of slack, I'm sure, so if you're feeling embarrassment on his behalf, just apologize for him and let it go at that. My mother said some horrendous things to ME when she was in the throes of dementia, and also some horrendous things about others. But she'd say it in Italian so only I understood what she was saying. As 'out of it' as she was, she knew enough NOT to insult others, but felt perfectly fine insulting ME. Weird how the dementias work, huh? :(

You can Google AD and dementia, and any other questions you have, and come up with a ton of reading material on the subject. BarbBrooklyn also linked you to an article on this very subject from AgingCare. Alz.org is another good website to go to if you are interested in learning about the disease your father is afflicted with.

Good luck.

My friend's mother had dementia, and my friend enrolled her in adult day care. When it was time to pick her up, Mother came out, got in the car and said, "I'm never going back there." Friend asked why. Mother said, "I danced with a black man. My grandmother would never approve that." Friend said, "Well, your grandmother is long gone, and you don't have any problem with dancing with him, do you? Mother said, "No, but I'm not going back." Friend and Mother had no history of being racist or prejudiced, but the teaching of long ago was apparently at the forefront of Mother's mind, much to my friend's dismay. (And, I should add, Mother was 1/4 Cherokee. Have no idea which grandmother gave her that instruction. Mother was born in 1910.)

Laugh. 😆 The elder is the one needing help, not the caregiver.

My 101-yr old Aunt never said racist stuff when I was living with her as a kid for 20 years -- but she sure does now. Yikes. Tells people they're fat, or something about their hairstyle, tattoos, LGBTQ+... anything can trigger her comments. I do agree she heard plenty of that talk in much of her life, so it was suppressed away in her brain, and now dementia means she can no longer hold it back.

I always warn people wherever she is taken (most recently the medical clinic) that she might blurt. I've never had anyone (a nurse, an aid, a banker of color or other ethnicity) ever not take it into their stride, thankfully.

Redirecting and distracting is what seems to work best for us. When I see "that look" in her eye that she's about to say something regretable, I will often physically stand right in front of her blocking her view and gently poke her in the chest so that she looks down and then follows by arm up to my face and then I start talking about something random.

Dad suddenly liked Obama when his black caregivers expressed their admiration for him. Before that, he said he couldn’t stand him and would never vote for him. So it can also work in reverse.

My mother started making comments about people's race, size and sexual preference. She had no filter and some of the comments were very hurtful, especially to family members. She is kind most of the time and these comments have been reduced (thankfully) but I still don't feel comfortable having some people around her. I know she can't change but I also don't think people need to be exposed to toxic comments constantly.

Dementia removes filters. Everyone my 200 lb mother saw was "fat," and she went full racist in her talk. She was never racist in her life.

To be fair, though, your dad and my mom were products of their times. They aren't racists, per se, but their way of talking isn't appropriate these days.

Many words that are considered racial slurs did not start out that way. Do the research.

Personally, I think a good caregiver takes the situation with a grain of salt. Seniors say all kinds of crazy stuff.

Believe it or not, white people aren't the only race that use racial slurs towards others. Some of the biggest racists I have ever met don't have white skin.

This question seems like someone writing a paper or something. A dad born in 1920 is NOT 100 years old.

If someone is already a racist then the inhibitions that would allow that person to understand how wrong they are, and to hide their feelings, are not there in dementia. So their racism will be loud and vocal often enough.
When I complained of a racist patient to an old Irish nurse one day she observed "Things change one coffin at a time". Sorry, but that's the truth.

Find Teepa Snow on YouTube.

She talks about this very common phenomenon.

When we are young, we were taught that “forbidden words” and “forbidden speech” (curse words, racial slurs) were wrong. That information is stored in the brain.

With dementia, that particular parts of the brain is one of the parts that dies. Picture a rock with a portion chiseled off. No matter how we want our Loved Ones to “behave”, that portion of the rock (brain) is no longer there. It can’t “learn”, or “do better”.

I’m sorry this is happening to your father, and to you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/155103