My sister-in-law has power of attorney. She has come to the house that I take care of my mother-in-law in and taken her out and I do not know where she is. I don't know if she has put her in a lockdown facility, a psychiatric ward, a nursing home or if she's at her house (which I doubt), but I am worried sick and none of the stuff that she's been doing since she's had power of attorney seems to be legal. Nobody seems to think it's bad enough to open an investigation. She has taken money but hasn't helped us take care of her mother. Not one dime of her mother's social security has been seen. She has been told that she is completely broke and that she's not even going to make it to the next month. I have tried to get so many people to listen and help me speak up for my mother-in-law because I do not feel that anything my sister-in-law is doing is right, much less legal. The advocate for the elderly came in on behalf of my sister-in-law, they didn't come out whenever I called them and asked them to open something about my sister not helping take care of my mother-in-law, but when she asked him to come out, they did. They had the same outcome as DCF or adult protective services, they were going to open an investigation on my sister-in-law because she has no answers where the money is and has no reason for this money to be missing. Nobody has done anything yet, I keep having hope people are going to help and they just seem to go away, which my sister-in-law has all the money to do that. She has taken everything from my mother-in-law including her house and nobody thinks that these things are a problem or worth taking a closer look at. She has now taken hospice off my mother-in-law's case and there's no one that I can even call to find out where my mother-in-law I or how is she doing. My husband is her son, and she will not answer us, talk to us, or let us know what is going. There must be something that I can do. There must be somebody that can help me investigate what's going on and see everything that she's doing it isn't right. She has liquidated all her assets anything that was in the will has already been liquidated and there's no record of the money, it's just gone. Something has got to be done here, this isn't right. If anybody has a situation like this or can give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it. I don't know where my mother-in-law is, and I know that she's not being taken care of. Thank you.
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It sounds like you been pigeon-holed as a trouble maker by these agencies and likely as a result of your SIL casting you as such in initial investigations. It is unlikely that your MIL is "not being taken care of" because your SIL would act to avoid any scrutiny. That said, she may be placed in a substandard care facility.
Your husband is the only 'interested party' in this case and you need to step back; he needs to be the one making the calls. You need to know how and where your MIL is, period.
Her son can file as an 'interested party' in a vulnerable adult case with the local court. This requires a filing to get a judge to look at this and uphold his rights. This is complex and begs for an attorney; you may be able to find one reduced-fee or pro-bono through various state aged justice agencies. Otherwise, you have to do it yourself using the state self-help papers and guides - all readily available for download with instructions. It's not easy to do pro se, but you can do it. His sib has zero right to keep basic information from you and the Court will Order that your SIL provide what you are asking for. This can be done on an expediated basis.
Additionally and further down the road, you may have a claim against her estate from the care that you provided. By having your MIL living with you, you saved her estate vast sums and deserve to see some of that back. I hope you have your documentation in order, you'll need it.
I think that the main barrier here is that you are the one making the calls, it needs to be her son. You need to step back, take a breath, and believe that your MIL is not abandoned on the streets somewhere. Just that note of frantic is enough to be off-putting to state agencies that have been put off the trail by your SIL. He has to be the one dealing with this now.
I wish you the best and please, keep us posted.
Let us know what they find.
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You’ve written about your concerns about your MIL through this past summer.
Have you called the Police, or APS, as suggested? What has been the response from these agencies?
That would help with answers to your current questions.