How do you talk with a person who has dementia about their inability to care for themselves when they believe they can care for themself?

Scubaqwn: As your father possesses anosognosia, it is a futile effort to have a discussion with him as to why he is in an adult care home. He lacks the capacity to grasp it.

This is tricky, because he is already getting care. If he was living alone, one normal option would be to stop doing what props him up, and let him realise for himself that he needs help. You say that he can feed himself. Is there anything that he can’t do without help, where the help could be stopped without being a danger? Perhaps it’s worth talking to the facility.

If you could find something, at least you could say ‘only when you can …..’ as well as just ‘when the doctor says’. That would make many of us resent the doctor and ask for a new one. If F needs PT, it could also help with motivation (whether or not that will really help). Perhaps you could substitute ‘let’s see if you can do xyz 10 times’, rather than just the endless repeat discussion about 'when can I go home'. Try exercises where he lifts a foot or an arm and holds its body weight while you count to 10, they won't do any harm.

I think these 2 articles explain it very well. Have a look under Care Topics for Anosognosia to find others too.

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/anosognosia-dementia-patients-cant-recognize-impairment-210090.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/with-alzheimers-denial-isnt-always-what-it-seems-161439.htm

Why are you trying to convince your father of anything? He's already living in an adult care home where he gets all the help he needs, so it's irrelevant what he believes or doesn't believe. As Beatty mentioned, the medical term for the inability to recognize his medical condition is known as  Anosognosia. You can Google that word for more info on the topic.

When he gets talking about going home or the fact that he doesn't need any help, just tell him that when the 'doctor says he can live independently again, then you'll discuss it. Until that time comes, however, you need to stay where you're at, dad: doctor's orders." Then change the subject.

My mother had advanced dementia & until her dying day insisted there was nothing wrong with her; it was everyone ELSE in the Memory Care ALF that was 'crazy' and 'nuts'......she was fine. I didn't argue with her b/c there was no point in it.

Why argue about it with him? He lives in a place that provides that assistance, right? Let them do their jobs.

Trying to be reasonable or logical with a dementia patient is futile. They've lost those skills, and there's no magical way around it to make them understand.

You dont .

This is very common unfortunately with any condition effecting the brain, especially dementia & stroke. Ability to understand may even fluctuate with the day or time too.

I'll post some links below with info on this. The medical name is: Anosognosia.