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BioMom41 Asked December 2022

If they seem unaware of the holidays, should you keep reminding them?

MargaretMcKen Dec 2022
I can’t see why you shouldn’t have a nice Christmas day with your mother, even if she doesn’t remember it afterwards. You could each have a little present to open, a simple decoration on the table, and some carols playing. There’s no benefit in keeping reminding her about it all through December, but the day should be nice for both of you. You will keep the memory, even if she doesn’t.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2022
Sadly, her best days are long behind her. I don’t see how holidays could possibly hold any special significance to her.

I am sorry that you can no longer share special holidays with your mother.

It seems pointless to remind her of the holidays.

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Fawnby Dec 2022
It’s futile to keep trying to make happy memories with someone who can’t remember. Be grateful for the memories that you still have, and think upon them frequently. Those are for you, not for the patient.

lealonnie1 Dec 2022
You are caring for your mother with Alz/dementia and say:

This has been a nightmare, Mom has some clear time and then she cannot remember one moment to the next what she just did. Nearly overdosed on medications. Took 6 weeks to get those from her. Will not give up car keys, will not allow help with bills, will not eat a balanced diet. Very combative with me. In denial about her health. Needless to say , I am worried about her well being but she refuses to speak to me. Frustrating doesn’t cover my feelings, how do you help when it is flatly refused. 

So, to answer your question, no. You should not keep reminding your mother of ANYTHING bc as you already know, doing so serves no useful purpose whatsoever. When an elder has no memory, what's the point of trying to get them to remember things??

When the holiday arrives, say Merry Christmas mom, and treat it as you normally would. Keep your expectations low and you won't be disappointed. Expect her to be interactive and happy, and have the holiday ruined.

Best of luck.

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