Why do I feel guilty to consider memory care?

My mother is 89 years old and has Alzheimer’s. I have been taking care of her for ten years now in my home. There are no brothers or sisters to share the burden with and we have no assets to pay for help with caregiving. So it’s all on me. My son is 24 he also lives with me and we are all in a 2 bedroom apartment, She is constantly barging into my sons bedroom and interrupting him from homework, from speaking on the phone, when showering. We had to put a lock on his bedroom door. She then bangs on the door and yells for him to open. I’m between a rock and hard place. For ten years she has had a very detrimental effect on my autistic son. The stress has caused me two strokes and pre-diabetes. She wakes me up several times a night switching my lights on and speaking to me. So I’m constantly exhausted. I can’t concentrate to do important things like pay bills or run errands because I always have her attached to my hip. She was a good woman. I don’t fully agree with the view that they cared for us , now we must sacrifice our lives and those of our children to care for them. She had a great life 90 years of it. She is destroying ours and leading to stress related health issues. I feel she will bury me because she is completely healthy nothing wrong with her. It could be another ten years, I have paid my dues. I would never never want to be a burden to my own child. So why do I feel guilty about putting her in memory care. In this country it sucks, it costs more than 99 % of normal people can afford. It would ruin me financially and leave nothing for my autistic son when I die. Memory care is a euphemism for glorified incarceration with short staffing almost no outdoor time and lockdown. I have visited many places and they are depressing. I have considered this statement very carefully, I would rather be dead than “live” in that state of existence, yelling, or in a stupor and subjecting my loved ones to anguish. In Denmark they have Alzheimer’s villages where these folks are treated humanely and there are more caregivers than patients. That will never happen here because it’s all about the “ The almighty god of profit “ People are now living much much longer and a huge burden for the ‘sandwich’ generation who are also taking care of their children. We worked hard our whole lives for whatever years we have in retirement but I feel my life is being destroyed by my mothers illness and by extension by her. My doctors say that my serious health issues are partly caused by all the stress. The panaceas of ‘take time to yourself, take a break ind help’, etc are not possible if you have no money and no family. For her sake and mine I think she would spare herself suffering, give my son a better life and allow me to live out the rest of my days in peace if she were to pass sooner than later, she is depressed and miserable most of the time pleading for god to take her. I have battled with clinical depression because that IS depressing ! So why am I feeling guilty about putting her in memory care ? She moans and groans constantly asks the same questions 100 times a day and follows me like she’s glued to me even in the house. The most patient and loving human being would crack under such torture and I do not mince my words it IS torture. Because she was a good mother. Because she still recognizes us. Because she likes to be in our home. Because she would suffer and that is a plain fact if placed among strangers and locked up in doors 99 % of the time. What do you think ??