Heartbroken. My dad is exhibiting inappropriate behavior. Any advice?

Question

R

rancks10 Asked December 2022

Heartbroken. My dad is exhibiting inappropriate behavior. Any advice?

Both my parents have dementia, but my dad is getting much worse this fall. They live in Assisted Living. I was recently told by the head nurse that when the health aides give him a bath or take him to the toilet, he wants to touch them or himself inappropriately. I am absolutely heartbroken, as my dad was a loving father, who faithfully served and loved my mom for over 60 years. He was a godly man who cared for our family and home. Right now I feel like hiding away and crying for days. I have prayed that God would peacefully take him before this gets worse. I have been told this is a part of dementia, but I feel so hurt and brokenhearted. Will Assisted Living kick him out if it continues? He was recently put on an anti-depressant and, for the first time in months, he is more joyful and upbeat. Unfortunately, this also seemed to start at the same time. Should we take him off of the antidepressant? Can anyone relate? I sure could use some encouragement.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dementia Behaviors Medications Sex

4 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

Recent Questions

Related Questions

score 3 · Answer 1

Had a aunt who had brain tumor - fatal. Daughter of a preacher, quiet, faithful wife and mother, church goer and worked (administration) in nursing home where her mother lived. . Very prim and proper. One day she cussed out the preacher of her church. Tumor changed her behaviors and personality. Everyone knew what was happening and understood.

i have zero experience with dementia but I bet the AL has experience in this. Good to have open communication with staff. Did the head nurse indicated that your dad was going to have to be moved? What was her attitude about the deal? Was she just keeping you up dated?

anti-depression meds can be tricky to find the right type and dosage and sometimes need adjusting. I am currently on two different type of anti-depression meds, anti-anxiety meds, restless legs meds that’d doubles as pain management and finally sleep aid meds. Bit of an cocktail and sometimes some of them it take as needed.

what I am saying don’t give up and go have a good cry, it helps.

Helpful Answer (3)

Thank you. The head nurse was responding to my question on why dad was telling me he is being told he is doing something inappropriate (but he couldn't figure out what it was...I assume he had forgotten. ) I am sorry about your aunt. Thank you for your story.

(1)

score 2 · Answer 2

Please don’t stop any medication without speaking to a doctor first.

Helpful Answer (2)

score 10 · Answer 3

I’m very sorry about the progression of disease in your dad. That’s what it is - a disease. He can’t help what he’s doing. That’s why this has nothing to do with his godliness, or his caring for your mom, or his being a family man. NOTHING. He is exhibiting symptoms. It’s not a reflection on his moral character. It doesn’t mean he is no longer a family man. He is sick. There’s no reason for you to be ashamed or embarrassed on his behalf. The attendants surely understand and know how to deal with it. Heartbreak comes with this territory, and so does grief. It’s normal to experience these emotions but sometimes you just have to accept.

Helpful Answer (10)

Thank you. I needed to hear that tonight. I've been a basketful of tears lately.

(1)

score 5 · Answer 4

I would get the advice of a good geriatric psychiatrist. My mother’s MC has one that visits her right there.

Perhaps they can prescribe something that will help with this issue. It’s a common one we see here on this site.

I’m so sorry that your Dad and you are both suffering with this challenge. So difficult.

Helpful Answer (5)

Heartbroken. My dad is exhibiting inappropriate behavior. Any advice?

4 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions

Ask a Question