My mom refuses to sign the assisted living application forms and is not mentally cognizant. Should her POA sign and be the person responsible?

I have always understood signing as POA never makes you financially responsible. You represent Mom and by representing her, you oversee her finances. When the money runs out, you are not responsible to pay her way. You then look towards Medicaid and placing her in Longterm care.

I have asked how people wanted me to sign. The majority was my name followed by POA. In some instances, I wrote her name with me under it and POA. I always wrote POA after my name when doing things for Mom and my nephew.

POA can sign Mom's name followed by POA name as POA for mom. This does not take on financial responsibility.

As an 82-year-old, I cringe when I hear "she won't" or "she refuses" when it comes to informing senior adults of their circumstances, whether it be where to live, what to eat, or anything else. I don't want to lose control of my life and be told I HAVE to do something I don't want to do or am not familiar with. I find it extremely disrespectful and hurtful. On the other hand, when someone asks me "what do YOU think of this......???" I am happy to consider and listen to ideas. People of any age, even children, don't like to be told they HAVE to do something. It's the same thing as giving a CHOICE of what to wear that day. Don't treat us as though we are demented and senile.
Last year I was having some health issues and my daughter wanted me to come to California to (maybe) live with them. Everything was perfect there. The food, the care, their home, etc. But they determined that I had dementia (without any physical or mental indication) and treated me like a child. I couldn't make any of my own decisions or help them in any way. They whispered behind my back and I felt lonely and rejected. They thought they were treating me like a queen. After three long months, I came back to my home in Wisconsin and plan to stay here now. They weren't being disrespectful, they thought they were doing what should be done. At home, I had myself tested for dementia and I'm fine. I do my own housework and even my banking and taxes. I love to cook, and I still drive to town for groceries and visit friends. They have lived in California for over 30 years now, and even tho we visit yearly and talk on the phone, they don't know about older people and their ways. They meant well and I love them, but I need to make my own decisions, and I'm glad they respected me for that. Just think of how miserable I would be at their home for the rest of my life. I think a lot of older people are forced into a life they don't want. No wonder the elderly get depressed and lonely. I hope this helps people realize that the elderly have feelings too. Let THEM make choices, too. YOU wouldn't want to be told what to do, either!

Personal opinion here but if she is not cognizant she should be in Memory Care not AL. Placing her in AL now might mean another move in a few months.
If she is not cognizant then she legally can not sign a contract. (I am surprised that the facility would allow someone that is not cognizant to sign a contract)The POA would sign on her behalf and indicate on the paperwork that it is being signed by the POA.

This is exactly why you have Power of Attorney. You will have to be using it from now on. As the 'Attorney in fact', you sign as if you were her. That goes for any and all decisions she would have made herself in the past.

I would have your brother sign as POA, cross out responsible party, and get this moving. Since she's in no state of mind to make proper decisions for herself, it's time to stop asking her to or expecting her to. Sorry that it has come to that, but there it is.

My POA for my mom got activated this past spring. So when I finally made the hard decision to move her from my house (after 7 years), I did all the paperwork with the facility in advance as her POA and she just had to go along with what I'd decided. I don't like the way that sounds but it was necessary and it was the only way that it would happen. Otherwise, if you ASK them to sign, they can say no when they actually don't have a choice.

Best of luck.

In ref to what Familyneeded said

This is probably a Senior Community where you start out in Independent living meaning you can take care of yourself. Assisted living/Memory care where you need help with some or all of ur ADLs. If you eventually need 24/7 care then you are placed in the LTC section.

This woman's IL has said she is no longer independent. She needs help with her ADLs and that service is not given on an independent level. If she bought into this Community she probably signed papers saying she would abide by the rules. One rule being that she will need to go to the AL/MC section if an evaluation shows she needs it. From what I read the woman has Dementia and should not be living independently. And they can kick her out. These places are private pay. She is a resident who pays rent. If there is a contract and she will not abide by it, they can say AL or you will need to leave. Its a liability for them if they are aware she needs a higher level of care and do not move her to where she can get that care.

I think I would start by asking the AL what 'responsible party' means in that specific document.

I think it is probably as it says, either the person themself signs or the person acting legally on their behalf (POA or Guardian). But no harm in checking! Especially if legal recourse & financial implications are at stake.

Is the POA 'active"? Eg an enduring POA? Or is it the springing POA type that's springs into action when capacity is lost? If so, is there written confirmation from Mom's Doctor to confirm that? Personally I would want to be crystal clear on the POA powers before signing.

If this wasn't real life - a serious & stressful situation.. I could imagine Bugs Bunny doing his gangster persona "Hey listen here Mrs, we can do this the EASY way or the HARD way... what'll it be?"

Mom is fighting for her power here. If there is a way to present the outcome as the 'choice she wants' above other options, I think you have a better chance to have her sign willingly. Eg this private room just became is available. I know it's earlier than you may have liked, but like a good sale item - sometimes you have to grab it before someone else does!

I signed all paperwork for my parents when they moved into an assisted living near me. There had never been any financial responsibility on my part.

if you feel uncomfortable signing ask for a statement with the facilities letterhead that you will not be held financially accountable. Make sure they sign it as well as you.

as others have said, I signed my name (a million times) and wrote POA for and my parents name. I spent hours doing the paperwork as there was teo of them.

my best to your Mom and to you

If mom's paranoia is a recent development, please have her tested for a UTI. They often cause this kind of behavioral change.

I would check with a lawyer, but if you sign "Mary Smith in her capacity as POA for Dorothy Smith" and cross out "responsible party", you are probably good to go. But IANAL.