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harrisb Asked December 2022

Dad moved in with me and we divided the inheritance 4 years ago. Can I hold my brother financially liable for not contributing?

My dad moved in and we set up an apt for him 4 years ago when my mom passed. My brother lives in another state and refuses to let him stay there or setup a space for him.


Fast forward untill a few months ago my dad had a UTI now has foley and catheter he can’t go into a home because of the 60 month look back so we brought him home for a 3 month look back until Medicaid until approved.


The thing is my brother refuses to come and help or bring my dad back to my brother's and my dad won’t go.


Since my brother got his inheritance he says he spent it all and has no money, no job and is mentally ill, but he can physically do things. He won’t come to me and give me and my family a reprieve.


Can I sue my brother or put lien on his house for not contributing? I spent most of time helping my dad causing me to not able to work since my brother will not contribute?

Fawnby Dec 2022
This is a very sad situation, and I'm sorry you're in it. What I understand is that your dad brilliantly gave away his assets to you, his family who willingly accepted the windfall, rather than save his money to pay for his own health care in old age. You were all gaming the system, and you've spent the money.

And now "the state," Medicaid, which is funded by taxpayers like me, is supposed to pay for your dad's health care as he ages and dies. I have a moral problem with this. "The state" is me. I scrimped and saved and worked hard all of my life so that I'd be able to pay MY OWN bills for care, and now I'm supposed to pay for your dad's care also.

If you want to sue your brother, be advised that a lawyer costs between $350 and $500 per hour. Good luck.
Hothouseflower Dec 2022
Legally you can set up irrevocable trusts and there is the 5 year Medicaid look back so the system is set up to encourage everyone to game it.

Sadly, I’m watching my parents’ money fly out of their savings account right now because they have to spend A LOT of money in cash to get decent caregivers. My parents’ chose not to protect their assets or home so my siblings and I will not see anything. But we all worked hard and saved for our retirements so none of us need an inheritanc to live our day to day lives. It would have been nice to be able to help out my grandkids a bit for their college years but that is not meant to be. So not to worry, we are not taking anything from the taxpayers.
Slartibartfast Dec 2022
You collectively decided on the "inheritance" gift because you felt it was more "fair" for dad to get whatever he needs for free (paid for my taxpayers). Now you want to sue your mentally ill brother for getting money for free. Somewhat ironic.
harrisb Dec 2022
Newsflash…Loopholes.

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polarbear Dec 2022
New law should be passed to say anyone giving away their life savings that would/could be used to pay for their care in their later years is not entitled to taxpayers' money, and the gift recipients will be held liable for the amount of the gifts. No 5 years limit look back.

All tax preparers are required to warn their clients of this law and SSA should inform everyone of this annually.
sp19690 Dec 2022
Why? The government wastes plenty of taxpayer money on corporate welfare, billions to Ukraine, recent bailouts of private pension funds and more. Why should people have to lose everything for nursing home care?

Conversely why should taxpayers have to pay to warehouse old people in facilities?
Bridget66 Dec 2022
You cannot make your brother do anything to assist you or your dad. If he doesn't want to help he won't and you can't force him to assist. And you can't put a lien on his house or sue him to make him pay. Your dad is not his responsibility.
funkygrandma59 Dec 2022
Nor is your dad your responsibility. You chose to take on his care and the way it looks to me, your brother was smart to not get involved.
Sounds like you're living to regret that decision huh? Hopefully you can get him placed sooner than later.
gladimhere Dec 2022
You have spent all of your share too? Pot calling the kettle black?

No you can't sue your brother or put a lien on his house. Going to have to patiently wait is out. I sure hope you have a written agreement with dad for rent/household expenses or you will experience new problems with medicaid that IMHO should not be an expense taken on by myself and other taxpayers because you and brother planned poorly for dad and got greedy.
harrisb Dec 2022
I didn’t say I spent my share. Don’t come off and assume anything. BTW I still have mine. I know the process I have an elder attorney handling it to get my dad the care he needs.

I don’t need a written agreement with my dad he can stay as long as he likes.

Who wants to be in a nursing home they are horrible to live in that’s why he’s here with me.

when a family member says they will help and doesn’t that’s messed up. I’m left holding the bag for time and money.
gladimhere Dec 2022
Idiocy! If it's ok for them it's ok for me?! That is one of the biggest problems with this society we live in. Too many in for what is in it for me instead of taking responsibility for themselves!
sp19690 Dec 2022
Welcome to the world where one person thrives only because another is not thriving. For example cheap clothing is made in sweatshops in 3rd world countries. The materials being mined for electric cars is done by children and many times this work is toxic but as long as people in 1st world countries can play pretend that they are helping the environment it's all good.
Isthisrealyreal Dec 2022
Can the taxpayer's hold you all liable for stealing from your dad and expecting us to pay for his care?

This is what happens when you practice fraud, it bites you.
sp19690 Dec 2022
They didnt steal from dad he gave it to them.
Fawnby Dec 2022
Daddy’s money. Everyone in the family taking advantage of one another. This would be a great Netflix documentary.
harrisb Dec 2022
This happens more than you think. But there are loopholes to get help.
Midkid58 Dec 2022
This is a sad situation. You 'took' your inheritance before the person gifting it to you had even passed. And now you know that's a situation that's fraught with problems.

Your brother has made it clear he won't help. Believe him when he says he won't.

I just hope the waiting game goes quickly. Does dad have some other form of income? To tide him over?

I don't mean to be rude, you already know you made a bad decision--maybe your choice to take money now will serve as a warning to others.
harrisb Dec 2022
its not totally miserable he has some income coming in and still have mine.

and he’s living in a separate apt in the house. When he was recently in the hospital for 3 months my brother didn’t even call or come to visit when I needed help setting up paperwork and to take him back home. That’s not a brother but I see my dad and him are similar in personalities.
gladimhere Dec 2022
One very important aspect that seems to be forgotten here; Dad's assets become inheritance upon Dad's death, not before. Dad has not passed (maybe that was the hope) Dad is still ALIVE!

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