Eight years ago, one of my fathers last wishes was to have me care for my mom in their home. I left my job and apartment in California in 2014 and have been the primary caregiver in Westchester County. NY doing everything that needs to be done nearly 24/7 and being paid some nominal rate via my mom's retirement. My sister is one of two Power's of Attorneys, my brother being the other. Over Thanksgiving, they both decided to put our mom in a memory care facility, (one rated with 2 stars that is severely short staffed) and are basically leaving me without a home or income without any discussion. I keep the house and my mother clean, cook organic healthy meals, provide exercise and art therapies. I needed help though so I married an old boyfriend who showed up after 45 years. He also has a lot of care taking experience and has been a great help without proper compensation. A week after I got married, they moved my mom out and left us not knowing what's going to happen next. I just want to take my mother back home. She was so distressed when I visited her.
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I am sorry for your and moms distress.
I hope that you at least ran a background check on him, a lot can happen in 45 years.
Might be time for you to go back to work and get your life back on track.
What your father wanted has no bearing on what is best for your mother today.
ADVERTISEMENT
How long had you been caring for mom in her home? Eight years?
Consider talking to an attorney. Sis would have to evict you. After caring for mom for so long you may be entitled to the home and mom could go on medicaid if she has no other assets.
There may also be an issue with being paid under the table.
Talk to an attorney.
What your dad wanted means nothing if it wasn't in writing, and POA would likely overrule that anyway.
I'd assume your hasty marriage is what led to this move. It doesn't sound like the best decision, and perhaps your sister (rightly) concerned about Mom's safety.