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Berneice Asked December 2022

My elderly sister had cancer. I had moved her in with me, she could not stay alone. My husband did not want her there and he put us both out. Any advice?

I am trying to process this. I did everything . I believe he wanted the attention on him..

gladimhere Dec 2022
Did you discuss this with your husband before you moved sister in? Did he disagree and you did it anyway?

Nobody is entitled to the house and support any more. Where did sister come from? Can you go there if you want to help her?

I don't blame your husband for not wanting her there. That is a huge strain on any relationship. Sis needs to use her own resources to find the care she needs. Help her find it.
pamzimmrrt Dec 2022
To clarify I didn;t mean to imply she should "get the house or support". Just that if anything was jointly hers ( like part of the house or bank accounts, etc) she would have some rights to her share. Sorry if I was unclear.
lealonnie1 Dec 2022
Did you not have a chance to discuss moving your sister into your home with your husband BEFORE you did so, getting his feedback & agreement prior to doing so? Surely you and your sister were not thrown out onto the street with no prior warning one day, out of the blue.......? You may have 'done everything', including moving your sister into the home you shared together, against your husband's wishes.

It's fair of a husband to expect 'the attention on him' and not want to share his home with a cancer patient. On the other hand, it's fair for you to want to care for your sister in her time of need. Which begs the original question, "Did you not have a chance to discuss moving your sister into your home with your husband BEFORE you did so, getting his feedback & agreement prior to doing so?"

In a marriage where teamwork is going on, both spouses discuss major life changes together before making such decisions, and it's a joint agreement they make on such matters. If DH did not want your sister to move in, did he make those feelings known ahead of time? How did you manage to move her in against his wishes?

Have you spoken to a lawyer about your rights? Are you a joint homeowner with DH?

More details would be helpful before we can give you good advice.

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pamzimmrrt Dec 2022
Berneice,, I think more info would be helpful, as in how long have you been married? Who's house did you live in? How did he "put you both out" ? This seems odd as you are a wife, and you have rights normally to the house you live in. As well as financial rights as a wife. was he threatening to the 2 of you? Have you called a lawyer about this? I hope you didn;t just up and leave when he told you to get out, as this may be seen as voluntary . Good luck and waiting to hear more.

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