Shopping is becoming a nightmare. Any advice?

Maybe your example isn't real but, in case it is, please do not let her feed the dog bread. It will get sick.

You could encourage her to make whole food dog food and freeze it. Cheap meat, brown rice and veggies or she can buy dry food and add warm water to soften it.

I did the dry food and warm with my dads little dog and she loved it. My German Shepards get fed this twice a day and I add healthy oils to increase nutrition, like salmon oil, olive oil and occasionally they get bacon grease as a treat, it only takes a dash of oil, think about the size of supplements.

You may have to take her shopping for the exercise and then go buy, with their money, the items they need to survive.

Food prices are beyond sticker shock, so I can understand her complaints but, we gotta eat now and leave tomorrow for tomorrow.

Who told you she needs sensory stimulus? That sounds like one of the false caregiving credos that we all dislike so much. If stimulus is upsetting her, it’s worth nothing. She’d be better off at home petting the dog. As we get older, certain stimuli affect us in different ways than they used to. For instance, most elders like to be touched, feet rubbed, other human contact. But the stimuli in a food store - too many people, clanging carts, loud music and announcements - can agitate, upset or anger them.

Remove the dog from her care immediately if she's refusing to buy it food.

Whether or not M ‘needs the sensory stimulus of shopping’, YOU don’t need ‘the nightmare’. Take her to the library instead.

I can see the sticker shock and prices have gone up a lot but that does not mean the dog starves or you get hypothermia from not having heat. Do you have a Costcos or BJs where the dog food can be bought in bulk?

At your parents age and decline, why are they waiting for in going into an AL? Seems Mom has some mental decline if she thinks its OK for the dog to eat bread. Do you live with them or just nearby? Is she taking care of the dog properly and Dad. I think maybe its time for an AL talk.

I wonder if it's time for AL sooner rather than later. Do you have POA? Is it activated? Please, do NOT pay for anything else. Your money is for YOU and YOUR retirement. I would take her credit card or her cash and buy the groceries that she needs. Do something else with her for stimulation. Take her to Target when YOU need to go shopping so she doesn't need to stress out so much about the prices. Take her out for a cup of coffee, etc. No more grocery shopping.

When my parents retired it was not uncommon for them to venture out 2-3 times a day, going here and there. Thus, when they got into their 90's and could no longer drive, I found myself driving them every which way. Dad was bored with grocery shopping, so he would wander down to Radio Shack.

Then into the car again to yet another grocery store as that store had a sale on canned peas and ice cream. Then back into the car, to Wal-Mart, oh good grief that was exhausting as Mom would head for the grocery side of the store while Dad headed to the electronics. It was like herding cats.

Finally I told them that the major grocery store that they liked had on-line ordering and curb-side pickup. Dad said he had a better idea, I could just drive them to the grocery store and come back a half hour later to pick them up...... yeah right, half hour later they would be only be in aisle 10 out of 26.

I had to put my foot down, I was going to use on-line ordering. It was a Godsend, it worked beautifully. Even though Mom said the food tasted funny, it was the identical food items she always would buy. Even though my folks had since passed, I am still using the on-line service.

I sympathize. My hair stands on end every time I see the prices of groceries.

I say get the expensive things delivered and let her shop for the less expensive. Get the poor dog's food delivered.

Mimi,

You need to cease paying for anything for her, period. The inflation we're all facing is hard to process, at the store or online, it's just today's reality. Don't we all wish that everything were priced what it was years ago, even 2 years ago!

Agree that the in-store shopping has become a harmful stimulus for her and you're allowing yourself to be manipulated by guilt over inflationary issues over which you've no control, please don't assume that your mom isn't fully aware that she's forcing you to sacrifice for her needs and benefit. If she's saving her money for AL and you're paying instead, who benefits?

Shop for or order what she needs and the dog too (I recently paid $65. for a 30# bag or dog food and about dropped my jaw); the cost of everything is crazy. Buy what she needs with her money and stop enabling her behaviors. Hide the receipts if need be.

Perhaps she should be in AL now, where meals are part of the cost so that she's no longer 'saving' until some future date, you can't afford this.

We all know that The Great Depression generation is accustomed to food stocking against lean times; these are lean times so you can bring in stocks of cheaper items - with her money - to satisfy that for food stores need in her, while she pays for the basics.

Best -

MimiKitchen: Perhaps your mother has Depression Era mindset. The dog should not eat bread, of course. Heat is necessary.