Another holiday is upon us. Any suggestions?

I posted recently about my mom and I won't rehash my situation other than to say I'm the sad daughter in her 60s who is still pathetically seeking love and approval from an emotionally cold and manipulative mom. I am however getting a little better with my gray rock technique. Every simple thing with my mom is a game of cat and mouse and I fall into the trap of asking twenty questions to see what she wants or needs. She has a way of making me feel like I fall short. I feel like a pawn on a chess board. It's exhausting. She will try to set me up; thinks she is being subtle. Could teach a college course on gaslighting. This has been going on for years and is probably ingrained. But she's still sharp as a tack. Hubby says her treatment of me is targeted and has been coaching me. He says I have to not show a reaction. Not give her the response she is looking for no matter how much she needles me. My new responses: Okay. No. How about those Blackhawks? Guess what my cat did yesterday. Oh look at the time. And when she fails to get a response and does the big disgusted sigh, I just say oh I hear it's supposed to get really cold this weekend. So I guess I don't really have a question. But I would love to hear how others do "gray rock" and if they have any pointers.