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Davegrant4478 Asked December 2022

My DW pulls all the wires from my computer. Any advice?

There could be several reasons for this behavior. One is that suspicion is a dominant pesonality trait with her dementia and she is angered that she cannot access the desktop when I am sleeping. This has been going on for several years but she is now pulling the wires in the back of the computer. The last few night she has pulled the wires for the router and the modem. The computer is in a separate room and I could lock the door but that will really anger her , I am thinking.

JoAnn29 Dec 2022
Dementia makes people paranoid. They see something on TV and their mind makes them think its the LO caring for them that has done it. The wife may have watched a show where the woman on the TV caught her husband looking at porn. So now in the wifes mind, her husband has done the same thing.

JoAnn29 Dec 2022
Luta's suggestion is good. Do you have a closet in the room. Make a computer closet out of it. Build a desk inside and have outlets put in. You can then close the closet door and lock it.

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ainorlando Dec 2022
https://www.technologygalaxy.com/Tripp-Lite-P568-000-LOCK/p/353375?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsIPQ64eb_AIVZSytBh1OVwvHEAQYBSABEgKLn_D_BwE

Screws the cable(s) to the computer.

Zip ties can work as well by wrapping around the cable and then fastening to the desktop case.

MACinCT Dec 2022
Does your computer l9ck with a pin, fingerprint or facial recognition?

Luta65 Dec 2022
If you're going to allow dementia to rule and not lock the door to avoid angering her, may be have a 'dummy' computer that she can access and lock the real PC or laptop and the printer away. Let her be as destructive as she wants with the other bit protect the value in your electronic investments.

This is only going to get worse and you need to go pro-active in any number of areas to survive this.

Best -

JoAnn29 Dec 2022
Can u afford an inexpensive laptop? I am using a tablet. I have a wireless printer. Only cord going in it is for electricity.

I would lock the door. Find an area rug that fits in front of the door in black. Round or oval would be the best because they look like a hole. But a rectangle may work. People with Dementia lose depth perception and think the rug is a hole and will not go over it. You could also try curtains over the door. Makes it look like a window may be behind it. And still lock the door. I really doubt if she will remember a door used to be there or a window wasn't. Maybe get a curtain the same color of the wall pulling it flat. Again, no depth perception so doesn't notice its a cutain and not the wall. They have some nice material outer shower curtains not you can use.
freqflyer Dec 2022
JoAnn, good idea of putting curtains over the office door, never thought of that. Makes me think that one could also buy a large poster of a window looking outside.
Anabanana Dec 2022
Because I don’t have a broader picture of her dementia, I’m not sure if she could be visually distracted. How well does she know computer equipment? Could you place something like a sheet of cardboard (or heavier, like wood) or a box with cutouts over the wires? Then lay an old power cord, some lengths of VGA cable, networking cable, etc, on top so that she thinks she’s pulling them. If you’re a techie, you likely have a drawer or box or scrap cords. (I’m married to a software architect - oh, the boxes of cords and boards) You may want to paint the blockade to match the desk or wall. It’s an extreme solution. I found that, with my mother, sometimes disrupting her view was enough to break the routine. Sometimes.

freqflyer Dec 2022
Davegrant4478, just wondering if your wife might have an Urinary Tract Infection.

Such an infection can cause a wide range of different types of strange and unwanted behaviors. Have her primary doctor or an urgent care run a UTI test. If it comes back positive, the infection can be treated with antibiotics.

Midkid58 Dec 2022
If I did that to my Dh every night he'd put me in a home so fast I wouldn't know what hit me!

As it is (he is a computer engineer) everything is set up and if he had to re-install all those cords every morning---whoa, what a mess.

There's little shance your wife would start a fire or anything, Sounds like she's just yanking out cables at random. Annoying, but not deadly. If you worry about her starting an electrical fire, she could do that with a for in an outlet.

Does she understand what she's doing at all? Even if she doesn't, just lock the door and let her fuss at you.

NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2022
My mom began wondering and tried to walk out of the front door. The doctor ordered Ativan and Seroquel. Speak with her doctor about this situation.

Falls are likely to happen as well if she is stumbling around in the evening hours. She would be well cared for and monitored by a professional staff in a memory care facility.

Lea is right. It’s simply not safe for her to be wondering around your house at night.

Best wishes to you and your wife.
NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2022
Melba,

It is good to know facts about drugs that are being taken but it is good to take into consideration that they
are given according to individual needs and many are multi purpose. Exceptions are made in certain cases.

My daughter is allergic to a certain group of antibiotics. She had a very bad infection once and her doctor said that he strongly felt that she should risk taking the antibiotic because otherwise she could have died. She was closely monitored and the doctor was correct in ordering that particular antibiotic because it cleared the infection.

When it comes to meds, everything is considered and then a decision is made. It’s not a black and white issue.

It’s the same thing with listed side effects. Not everyone will have side effects. I know a woman who is so scared of side effects that she suffers needlessly because she reads all of the listed side effects and refuses any medication.

This was approved by my mother’s doctor and it helped her.
lealonnie1 Dec 2022
Your wife wandering around alone at night while you are sleeping, accessing wires to pull out is a dangerous and distressing thought to me. Not that she has a 'dominant personality trait with her dementia and is angered she cannot access the desktop while you are sleeping"..........but that she will either kill herself fiddling around with electricity, or wander out the front door and get lost or run over by a car.

Lock the door to the office where your computer is, for the immediate moment, but better yet, address the fact that your wife is suffering from advanced dementia and either needs to be in Memory Care AL or have a night aide hired to be with her while she's awake in the wee hours to ensure her safety.

The issue isn't your computer, but the danger that lurks in being alone at night and getting into mischief with dementia at play.

funkygrandma59 Dec 2022
Does she have good reason to be suspicious of what you're doing on your computer, thus her reaction of pulling out all the wires? Or is this just an over reactive behavior on her part?
I know that if my man was looking at inappropriate things online, I'd not only be pulling out all the wires, but would be smashing the damn thing as well, dementia or no dementia.
But if you're being a saint online, then just lock the door and let the chips fall where they may.

Fawnby Dec 2022
If she's doing these things, probably anything will anger her. I'd put a lock on the door because she might as well be angry about that as anything else. She could very well get more destructive than just pulling wires, and you don't want that. So sorry you're having to deal with this.

babsjvd Dec 2022
Mark your wires so you know where they belong, to make it easier to reconnect..otherwise the only way I can. Think of to restrict her access is to lock the door.

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