Single dude sole caregiver for his mom with some form of dementia. Any advice?
it is simply too complicated and incomplete to type out all about my circumstances and my mom’s in order to feel like wholistic advice can be extended to me
Tennischamp77, for more information on dementia/Alzheimer's go to the green/blue bar at the top of this page..... click on CARE TOPICS.... go to the Letter A and click on Alzheimer's/Dementia. You will find a wealth of information that I hope will be valuable for you to use.
Any time you run into a single circumstance, please post it on the forum. There are many writers here who have dealt with all types of different issues. They would be more than happy to give their suggestions :)
Grandma has given you excellent advice, but knowing your mom's actual age would be helpful.
Remember that your life, mental and physical health and financial outlook matter too.
Caregiving only works if it works for both parties. Can you afford to become mom's caregiver and not be gainfully employed?
At the outset of my mom's journey into declining cognition, I had a mortgage, an unemployed husband and a career I loved. There was simply no way I could impoverish myself to "do" for my mom.
Don't let an emergency situation, one where you swoop in to save the day, morph into a longterm slog that ends with you broke, homeless, unemployed and unemployable.
If the information in/on your profile is correct and your mom is in her 50's this can be a very difficult road for you. The first thing is do you have all the legal papers in order that you can make decisions for her? Can you make medical and financial decisions for her? Get you both to an Elder Care Attorney and get that out of the way. If she refuses or the Lawyer does not think she is competent enough to appoint you as POA then you may have to obtain Guardianship. (not ideal but might be necessary. Or she can be appointed a Guardian by the court and she will be made a Ward of the State) The second thing to do that is important is get a correct diagnosis and get it in writing. Next is to look for resources that can help. If she is as young as you indicate you may have to go to Social Security and find out getting her on Social Security Disability. And you will want to be her Representative Payee. With dementia she should not be in control of her assets. Early Onset Dementia is any dementia diagnosed under the age of 65. My Husband technically fell in the Early Onset group and he "lived" 12 years after the diagnosis. It was difficult. And I have the advantage of having a house that was built handicap accessible. I would suggest that if she is diagnosed with dementia you have her assessed for Hospice and as soon as she qualifies get her on Hospice they will help with all supplies, equipment and mental, emotional support.
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So, have you gotten your mom checked out for UTI, stroke or any of the other conditions that were suggested?
A change in mental status in an elder should not be ignored and it should not be chalked up to weather.
Any time you run into a single circumstance, please post it on the forum. There are many writers here who have dealt with all types of different issues. They would be more than happy to give their suggestions :)
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Grandma has given you excellent advice, but knowing your mom's actual age would be helpful.
Remember that your life, mental and physical health and financial outlook matter too.
Caregiving only works if it works for both parties. Can you afford to become mom's caregiver and not be gainfully employed?
At the outset of my mom's journey into declining cognition, I had a mortgage, an unemployed husband and a career I loved. There was simply no way I could impoverish myself to "do" for my mom.
Don't let an emergency situation, one where you swoop in to save the day, morph into a longterm slog that ends with you broke, homeless, unemployed and unemployable.
The first thing is do you have all the legal papers in order that you can make decisions for her? Can you make medical and financial decisions for her? Get you both to an Elder Care Attorney and get that out of the way. If she refuses or the Lawyer does not think she is competent enough to appoint you as POA then you may have to obtain Guardianship. (not ideal but might be necessary. Or she can be appointed a Guardian by the court and she will be made a Ward of the State)
The second thing to do that is important is get a correct diagnosis and get it in writing.
Next is to look for resources that can help.
If she is as young as you indicate you may have to go to Social Security and find out getting her on Social Security Disability. And you will want to be her Representative Payee. With dementia she should not be in control of her assets.
Early Onset Dementia is any dementia diagnosed under the age of 65. My Husband technically fell in the Early Onset group and he "lived" 12 years after the diagnosis. It was difficult. And I have the advantage of having a house that was built handicap accessible.
I would suggest that if she is diagnosed with dementia you have her assessed for Hospice and as soon as she qualifies get her on Hospice they will help with all supplies, equipment and mental, emotional support.