In a few days, I'm moving my wife, who has late stage Alzheimer's, to a memory care unit of a nursing home. Any suggestions?

Tell her everything loving thing you'd tell her if she knew what was going on. Some of it may penetrate, and she'll know she's loved regardless of how ill she is.

I told my husband that he would be moving to a nicer place and he would have his own room. I said that I would visit him every day and the aides would take good care of him. I think the words were more for me than him. He made very little response and had no idea who I was. As I drove home sobbing, I realized the move was easier on him than on me. I'll pray that God will grant you peace for this hard transition.

Just read your profile that states that your wife is only 64 years old. She’s young. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.

I am sure that you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.

You know that you are showing her the ultimate form of love by allowing her to be cared for by experienced professionals.

Your wise actions already convey your story and words aren’t always necessary. I think a simple, “I love you.” would be enough to say.

Wishing you peace as you take this next step in your caregiving journey.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, both of you. In a different experience with a relative, we found it most helpful to smile and essentially fake a positive, upbeat attitude through a similar move. The positivity sort of rubbed off and calmed any anxiety. Your wife is blessed to have you as her advocate in this life

My mother (bedridden) is in a very small home and they keep track of her possessions, so I took her favourite napping throw that sat on her living room couch for years, plus a few blankets. That way they’d feel, smell and look familiar.

I hope she transitions well.

Gcg, good to see you again!

This is a tough one; it sounds like your wife's comprehension of what is going on is quite impaired.

How will she be transported to the facility? Is she used to be driven places, or will that be an anxiety provoking thing?

I would consult with her doctor about giving a mild sedative or anti-anxiety med before this move.

I am sorry you are going through this with your wife. This is a big move....more so for you than for her. As you said, she doesn't really know what is going on around her, so there is really no need to say anything to her. Talk with her about anything that you would normally talk about. The crisp clean sheets on the bed, the weather outside, something funny you heard on a show. No need to announce to her what you are doing unless "you" need to say it to make yourself feel ok. Just know that you are doing the right thing. She will be getting around the clock care. When you visit her, you will not be drained and tired. Undoubtedly this is not what either of you had planned at this early age.

Gcg001: In all ways regarding this, show love. While this has probably already transpired, I send you prayers, dear man.

Here is an article with 50 tips on transitioning a loved one into Memory Care:

https://www.seniorlink.com/blog/50-tips-on-transitioning-a-loved-one-to-memory-dementia-or-alzheimers-careyour-blog-post-title-here

You've likely already dropped your wife off, but perhaps some of these tips will still be useful as you face the upcoming questions or trials that often accompany such a move.

Wishing you both the best of luck acclimating.

When I moved my mother to a memory care unit, I didn't tell her anything and she didn't notice. Having no concept of past or future is a blessing sometimes. I brought her to her room and she didn't even notice it wasn't her bed. She sat right down with her doll. Speaking of doll, my mother loves her baby doll from Ashton-Drake.com. They have dolls specifically designed for dementia patients. It is a God send, keeps her entertained and comforted all day and night. Good luck to you.