Do you send bulletins to keep family informed about every serious health issue?

I used CaringBridge.com when my DH had a liver transplant & we were out of state for 7 weeks. I was able to keep family & friends informed and updated of everything that was going on to anyone who WANTED to know if they logged onto the link I'd sent them/invited them to. Some of the step kids accused me of 'starting my own personal blog' and for that reason they refused to read it, which of course was sheer stupidity (if you knew these girls it would make sense....), but 99% of everyone was thrilled that I took the time TO keep the site updated daily. It's an easier way to NOT have to make lots of phone calls or write individual emails, etc. If private info gets out there on the net, who cares? It's a risk we all take daily when we sign on, I guess.

The other good thing about CaringBridge is that the people who are invited to read the site get email/text notifications when I post an update, and I get notified when new comments get posted.

When I stepped up to become the family care manager and strategist for my MIL and her husband (in a blended family) we started with a family conference call so that everyone was on the same page at the same time and discussed who was able/willing to do what and how often.

Half of them lived out of state so there wasn't much they could do realistically at the beginning. As soon as I figured out this was going to be a lot of work almost every day, I decided to send out regular emails to the family, but they were categorized in the subject line: Daily Update-FYI Only, Update-Please Read and Respond; Urgent: Need Input ASAP; and after that it would roll into texting. I did this because I was the daughter-in-law, and step-DIL so I never wanted anyone to be able to say "I didn't know..." or "You shouldn't have done that..." for any of the decisions that were being made on their behalf. For 1-1/2 years I performed almost daily care or management, chauffering, coordinating, researching, decisioin-making (even though I was not the PoA but the actual family PoAs allowed it), etc. Maybe your in-laws are doing it for similar reasons, or they feel under-appreciated, or it is a passive-aggressive way of wanting help?

I only send to my children (my mom's grandchildren) and my siblings if there is something significant. When she fell, I let them know she had fallen, and was in the E.R. I only send non-specific details, such as "no broken bones, no internal bleeding, no wounds, etc". After discharge, I sent another letting them know we were home. I don't feel the need to disclose her entire medical history, nor every issue she may be having. I think everyone has a different opinion on what constitutes too much sharing, and it seems you and your family are on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Unless the family member is extremely close to the relative...example the Grandma they saw and loved dearly. I would not be sending all this private information about their health. With Our immediate family I have to call and give them updates. Recently Mom fell, only my kids know I don't go into great detail..shes in rehabilitation now.
I've decided the phone rings both ways...my kids ask about their Grandparents. The others do not.

No! I was finding 2 things: 1. It was taking as much or more energy dealing with family and my mother’s friends as caring for her. 2. Most of the “help” is them watching me and Monday morning quarterbacking. I keep it less frequent and high level only.

The problem with picking and choosing what info is important enough to give out is that something I might consider to be a "little" issue, others might not.

My husband has a myriad of health issues, mostly stemming from exposure at the World Trade Center. Frankly, it's more uncommon for him to go to the doctor and NOT have them found something else. Most times, at least to us, it's minor, but to his sister AND our children? I would rather tell them about every "little" thing than risk NOT telling them and then that "little" thing morphs into something much bigger and I get accused of *not* telling them.

My daughter yelled at me because when she was in college, and my mom took a fall, we didn't call to tell her. Well, mom was falling every other day, and I didn't think it was a big deal - mom had no injuries - but my daughter was upset that I kept her "out of the loop". In her mind, anything that precipitated a trip to the ER was something I was supposed to notify her about.

And don't even get me started on telling some people and not others!!

Sometimes it's just easier for the person disseminating the information to just put all of it out there to everyone and let THEM decide what's worthy of worry and what isn't.

You could get your own back by forwarding these people copies of the famous Bristol Stool Chart so that they can provide standardised information.

Oh gosh, they wouldn't actually do that would they???

You are under no obligation. I assigned one person to distribute health up-dates if it was something important; I didn't have to, I chose to do it. Maybe they could come and help you out and see for themselves?

No you don't need to send out updates. Your health, Your business. I tell my son and stepsons what they need to know. Don't inform other family unless I want to.

I don't send updates on myself unless it's something that would be difficult to keep under wraps. I'd hate for a dear loved one to hear through the grapevine that I was sick and be even more worried than they would otherwise be. They would never understand why they hadn't been told.

As a caregiver, I have sent email updates to the woman's son who just "adores" his dear mother, but refuses to assist with her care or even the decision-making about her care. The last thing I need his him showing up at the last moments of his mother's life asking whether such-and-such drug or procedure was ever tried. I would also cc two adult grandchildren on the same message. One grandchild asked me to stop. The other grandchild would occasionally thank me for the info. The son asked me to stop emailing updates and would rather I communicated differently (i,e. text, message in a bottle?, telegram?). He said he doesn't like checking email, but a text message pops up on his phone. I found this hurtful. I have vision problems, and email is much better for ME than text. I think I can choose the mode of communication since I am caring for the mom? So, I still write the emails, but I send them to myself. That way, I have dates when things occurred and the specifics and I would not have to remember off the cuff when "dear son" frantically started asking questions one day. He has never once asked me why he does not receive updates anymore. Granted, my updates could get lengthy. But, even the longer updates were only hitting the most pertinent things. Writing up every single thing would fill a novel on a monthly basis.