Mother-in-law hates some workers at assisted living and keeps saying they are mean to her. My mother is at the same residence and has no complaints! Any advice?

How long has she been there? She will probably have the same complaints wherever she is.

No, and most certainly NOT based on what “she says”.

My mother “SAID” that she’d been married TWICE one day at her very good residence. She hadn’t been. She HAD DEMENTIA.

People who have dementia progressively lose the ability to filter what they say.

Your MIL MAY be resistant to complying with her caregivers’ requests, but one of the reasons that she’s reading in an AL is because she NEEDS structure and consistency.

Watch the situation for both of your mothers, but quick, unsupportable (with FACTS) moves are not usually in the best interests of people with dementia.

GOOD LUCK.

I have no doubt there are people working there who are less than kind but she will encounter that no matter where she goes. I don't know whether she has a more abrasive personality or is overly sensitive or if your mother is just oblivious and that doesn't matter, you get nowhere comparing your mother and MIL's experiences.

Unless there is more to go on, he should not move her. Is she usually happy go lucky or more of a complainer? Dementia? Take all these into consideration and give it a little time. Likely she'll have the same complaints elsewhere.

Workers may be reflecting MIL's own attitude and behavior. Perhaps she is a more demanding personality than your own mother is. If MIL has a negative attitude, she is going to find workers "mean to her" wherever she goes.

Absolutely not. People with dementia confabulate, and she’ll do it wherever, whatever. You already know it’s a good place that you trust for your mom.

Has your Mother-In-Law been evaluated by a doctor to rule out medical and mental conditions?

May be dementia, Alzheimer's or bipolar disorder.

Let me guess. Your mother is a decent, kind lady who doesn't spend her every waking moment complaining? And your mil is the type of person who would complain about being put up at the Palace of Versailles saying the gold was tarnished?

If there were REAL issues going on in this AL like others insist "must be" the situation, both women would have the same complaints. Which is not the case.

I would not move your mil anywhere else bc she'll bring her attitude with her wherever she goes.

Does her MIL and Mom have dementia? It says AL, not MC, and her profile just says she is caring for her Mom. I am surprised that MIL and Mom have not buddied up, but perhaps they don;t get along, and Mom is just easier going? Maybe MIL wants OUT and to live on her own or with Mare and her hubs? Some people are just never happy with anything!

Do they have the same caregivers? When my MIL was in Memory Care, Hubby would go at different times during the day, to assess her care and the interaction between her and the CNA's who worked there. Each employee had their own personality, as we all do. Some exhibited more of a gentle personality than others. It's a tough situation for everyone, isn't it? Good luck.