How do you create a "Plan B"?

Good for you for working on getting things in order. You never know what is going to happen or when. With your wife being 85, it's definitely time for all your paperwork to be in order. Someone to be assigned as POA in the event that you can't do it, and also a backup for you since your wife is not capable of being responsible for you with her dementia.

I would meet with an attorney and get this taken care of ASAP.

Visit an elder care attorney and make sure all documents are in place. Find out if there’s a relative to oversee your wife’s care needs and discuss the plans with that person. Find which memory care or nursing home you’d prefer if that becomes a need. Make a file of everything that someone would need to know, my dad did this for me in a notebook. He included insurance info, preplanned funeral info, house deed, car title, banking info (I was already on his accounts, a huge help) all monthly bills with account info, his military service paperwork, a list of names and phone numbers of people he wanted to know when he died, and his will. You’re very wise to be doing this now, it will be a blessing to whoever may need it one day

Do you have other family to take over as POA? If not it may be time to see a Trust and Estate Attorney or an Elder Care Attorney (some pay for an hour of time with a Certified Licensed Social Worker in private practice. You might explore the possibility of a paid Licensed Fiduciary to take over if need be if you are incapacitated or dead. Attorneys are often familiar with them as they are assigned by courts in the instances where there is no family and one is in need of care.

Since wife has a Dementia don't think there will be setting up any on-line accts.

What you may need to do is place her. This way you have picked the place beforehand and know she is safe and cared for. Do not leave the responsibility up to others. You assign a POA for yourself. This person should be given all info on your finances, they do not tell others and they are not obligated to. This person should know where all your assets are and what is brought in monthly. You put all important papers in one place where they can be found easily.

Does wife have a POA, if not, if you go before her she will need a guardian. Find someone who is willing to do it and leave put enough money aside so they can pay for it, its not cheap. See an elder lawyer. Maybe you need to put assets in a trust for wifes care. Its recommended you do as much as you can so there is no need for Probate. Its not hiding money, its protecting ur wife's future. Making everything easy for others.

I live in NJ and was told by my GFs mother that her husband's sister had to leave her money to Mrs S because the State does not allow it to be left to a person suffering from Alzheimer's, which Mr. S had. This is a question tthat you could ask the lawyer.

You don’t mention if you are ill or if your wife is ill or has dementia but I will tell you my plan “B” . I agree with what others have written. Do you have relatives who would take over planning for a home placement etc.? First, get an Elder care attorney. It is very early but I already researched the best assisted living,memory care and nursing home facilities I might choose. I found out the cost and services. If no relatives are available, the person you chose as Medical POA should be able to take care of these things. If you can afford it, a Geriatric Care Consultant is a good option. Look them up in your area. There must be a senior services in your area too. If you think you might need Medicaid for the future, you should mention this to an elder care lawyer to see what can be done with assets now.After taking an End of Life course, we went ahead and got a cemetery plot and a stone ready. You might also decide on
cremation. You can also arrange a pre-paid funeral for yourself. I know it is early but someone in the course mentioned living in a hurricane zone and boarding up in advance. Then they could relax or have a party.

You don’t say your age.or her condition . but I would make certain that all legal documents are in place for you and her. A living will, DNR, will, medical and durable POA’s . Set up online banking and bill pay . Teach her if you can.
I would talk to her about the importance of using her assets to take care of herself if something happens to you. That may be less intimidating if you talk to her.

Your a good husband preparing!