Start with I am 80 and a nurse, and I never yet met someone who loves their hearing aids. It can be even more so today when they need fine tuning with smart phones. When I haven't gotten past my "dumb" phone (jitterbug; I likely will never make it into the 21st century). Now if glasses are forgotten as well, I think it is of concern. While I often cannot FIND mine, it is clear to me that I NEED them. To get serious, have you honestly had the sit down talk with your Dad? What other things are you noticing? Are things in place for when/if you need to act for him? It took a serious accident to make my bro, who lived in SoCal where cars are crucial, to give up driving; luckily no one but him was hurt, but it was also the beginning of his being diagnosed, while in hospital for the accident with early Lewy's dementia. We were able to talk later. He had known there were "issues" and he ignored them. Your Dad can only be told by you that he would not want to end a long productive life having injured or killed a child with his vehicle. If you can tell us a bit more about your Dad and his circumstances we may give you a few more ideas, but there is always talking to the DMV about him. I sure do wish you good luck.
Lots of tough issues here. If he is mentally declining, I see a lot of red flags regarding driving. Have you had him evaluated for dementia? If he does have it, get the to state that he should not be driving. My state does not take away licenses. But once I had that info from her doc that it was a no go on driving, that was that. We had already taken her keys away (unbeknownst to her) since she wasn't driving since it was winter and icy, etc. and I "loaned" my car to my kids and drove her car instead.
If you have valid reason to doubt his ability behind the wheel, take it in for service and it just never comes back home. Disable something under the hood so it won't work. I knew I couldn't deal with the guilt if I let my mom drive when I knew she was a danger to herself and others. What if she killed someone? Yikes.
I'm sure they forget to put on their glasses and hearing aids. A lot! I know a lot of people don't love their hearing aids. I'm sure they take getting used to and maybe adjustments but you have to wear them every day for a good period of time (like a month?) to give them a fair try. I never made my mom go get an eval but I know that I will NOT be screaming or repeating myself. Nope. She just hears me wrong all the time and she always tells me "Oh I thought you said (insert something crazy or that rhymes)". I hate that game. Hubby was made to go for a hearing test and has mild loss in one ear and moderate in the other. So it won't be too long before I have to force him to get hearing aides.
It's possible your dad has a UTI if his decline is sudden. I'd get him to the doctor. They should also do blood work to rule out some deficiencies that add to confusion - low B12, low thyroid function, etc. And at 94, it's not a big surprise either, but I would rule out the low hanging fruit to see if you can get any improvement.
My Mom is 93, lives next door to me and still drives. I'm an only child and she is single. I have been "prepping" her mind that I refuse to care for someone who is in denial about their hearing loss to the point where I have to yell everything at them or be accused of not telling them things. I took her to the audiologist and even seeing the test results she was in denial and resistant. We got her hearring aids at Costco. Then first day she put them in and then turrned on her tv she was shocked at the volume level she had it on. Most days I have to go help her put them in because she either forgets or can't feel them due to neuropathy in her fingertips.
Same with driving glasses. They are a new thing so she forgets to wear them. My Mom has always been a good driver and has been self-limiting (stays on familiarr routes, doesn't go out durriing rush our or school buses, only on in daylight on bright, sunny days). But as her judgment changes, I have been watching her closely. This week I discovered she damaged her side mirror apparently backing out of her garage (a truly narrrow single car garage). So I make sure to eliminate the reasons for her having to drive anywhere. She will often go to the store because she is just bored (MN winters can feel long).
If you are truly worried you can anonymously report him to his state's DMV online. They will send out a letter calling him in for a retest (probably eye). You either decide to NOT take him to that test and let his license lapse, then sell his car and cancel his insurance or take him for the test and have him fail if you are sure he will. (I did this for elders in both FL and MN).
Then be prepared for a new world of either an angry or bored (or both) elder. It may become a different problem for you to solve.
You state in your profile dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia. If this is the case ask his doctor to provide the necessary information to the Secretary of State (Drivers License Services) and the license will be revoked. You need to disable the care so that he can not drive it.
If that information is incorrect and he does not have Dementia and it is the glasses and hearing aids that is different. If there is a glasses restriction on his license and he gets stopped he may be ticketed. Hearing is not a restriction on a license but with the vision AND hearing diminished that is a problem. Unfortunately in some cases it takes an accident to get someone to make changes. I would say if dad is driving allow no one to go with him unless he is wearing both glasses and hearing aids. And I have to ask though...are both the glasses and the hearing aids proper for him? Are the glasses the right prescription? Are the hearing aids working well for him? Maybe some adjustment is needed on one, the other or both.
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Now if glasses are forgotten as well, I think it is of concern. While I often cannot FIND mine, it is clear to me that I NEED them.
To get serious, have you honestly had the sit down talk with your Dad? What other things are you noticing? Are things in place for when/if you need to act for him? It took a serious accident to make my bro, who lived in SoCal where cars are crucial, to give up driving; luckily no one but him was hurt, but it was also the beginning of his being diagnosed, while in hospital for the accident with early Lewy's dementia. We were able to talk later. He had known there were "issues" and he ignored them.
Your Dad can only be told by you that he would not want to end a long productive life having injured or killed a child with his vehicle.
If you can tell us a bit more about your Dad and his circumstances we may give you a few more ideas, but there is always talking to the DMV about him.
I sure do wish you good luck.
If you have valid reason to doubt his ability behind the wheel, take it in for service and it just never comes back home. Disable something under the hood so it won't work. I knew I couldn't deal with the guilt if I let my mom drive when I knew she was a danger to herself and others. What if she killed someone? Yikes.
I'm sure they forget to put on their glasses and hearing aids. A lot! I know a lot of people don't love their hearing aids. I'm sure they take getting used to and maybe adjustments but you have to wear them every day for a good period of time (like a month?) to give them a fair try. I never made my mom go get an eval but I know that I will NOT be screaming or repeating myself. Nope. She just hears me wrong all the time and she always tells me "Oh I thought you said (insert something crazy or that rhymes)". I hate that game. Hubby was made to go for a hearing test and has mild loss in one ear and moderate in the other. So it won't be too long before I have to force him to get hearing aides.
It's possible your dad has a UTI if his decline is sudden. I'd get him to the doctor. They should also do blood work to rule out some deficiencies that add to confusion - low B12, low thyroid function, etc. And at 94, it's not a big surprise either, but I would rule out the low hanging fruit to see if you can get any improvement.
Good luck!
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Same with driving glasses. They are a new thing so she forgets to wear them. My Mom has always been a good driver and has been self-limiting (stays on familiarr routes, doesn't go out durriing rush our or school buses, only on in daylight on bright, sunny days). But as her judgment changes, I have been watching her closely. This week I discovered she damaged her side mirror apparently backing out of her garage (a truly narrrow single car garage). So I make sure to eliminate the reasons for her having to drive anywhere. She will often go to the store because she is just bored (MN winters can feel long).
If you are truly worried you can anonymously report him to his state's DMV online. They will send out a letter calling him in for a retest (probably eye). You either decide to NOT take him to that test and let his license lapse, then sell his car and cancel his insurance or take him for the test and have him fail if you are sure he will. (I did this for elders in both FL and MN).
Then be prepared for a new world of either an angry or bored (or both) elder. It may become a different problem for you to solve.
If this is the case ask his doctor to provide the necessary information to the Secretary of State (Drivers License Services) and the license will be revoked.
You need to disable the care so that he can not drive it.
If that information is incorrect and he does not have Dementia and it is the glasses and hearing aids that is different.
If there is a glasses restriction on his license and he gets stopped he may be ticketed.
Hearing is not a restriction on a license but with the vision AND hearing diminished that is a problem.
Unfortunately in some cases it takes an accident to get someone to make changes.
I would say if dad is driving allow no one to go with him unless he is wearing both glasses and hearing aids.
And I have to ask though...are both the glasses and the hearing aids proper for him? Are the glasses the right prescription? Are the hearing aids working well for him? Maybe some adjustment is needed on one, the other or both.