How can I find someone to help ready my EX husband's apartment for him to be discharged from the hospital? Emergency cleaning?

Hold on.

Call the discharge planning office at the hospital and explain the situation to them.

It's quite clear (to me at least) that your husband's physical AND cognitive problems are such that he needs a higher level of care than an apartment building with no services.

This is NOT a job for untrained volunteers. There are hazmat companies that do this, but not for free.

Is ex on Medicaid? It's possible that the hospital can involve Social Services to get this done, but frankly, this situation has "unsafe discharge " written all over it.

Barb is so right. This is NOT a job for volunteers. (As an aside, I'm always surprised the things people suggest volunteers -- often people from churches -- can do. Are there really all of the church volunteers that people seem to think there are?)

It sounds like your ex needs to be in an assisted living or skilled nursing facility.

I would not assist in the impossible task of cleaning his place because he should not be moving back there.

Do not use your money to get his place clean you have your son and yourself to take care of.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for someone us tell them no.

Just say "No", this is a never ending cycle, tell him to talk to the social worker at his facility. IMO this would be an unsafe discharge

Obviously there are some serious issues going on with him, may be time for him to go into a home where he can be properly cared for.

Cleaning his house will not accomplish a thing, he will just mess it up again, even if he wanted to keep it clean, it is obvious that he is unable to do so.

I am going to be completely honest in my answer to this question. Do you really think that someone would volunteer for this job? This is an enormous amount of work, not to mention how unsanitary it would be for those doing the work.

This job requires professional cleaning, which won’t be cheap. Your ex will have to come up with the money somehow.

Why is this even your responsibility? He is your ex! Your son doesn’t owe him anything either.

Step away from this situation and if you are contacted again, say to him, “I have been thinking about this situation and I cannot help you with this matter. Good luck!” Then hang up the phone.

Lisa, this man cannot return to his apartment. He now needs 24/7 care. With Dementia he should not be alone. You need to call the discharge office and tell them its an "unsafe discharge". His Dementia is probably why he thinks his son can do the work. I would bet he has told the discharge people ur picking him up and caring for him. They don't call to confirm this. You make it clear ur an ex caring for a disabled child and u have no responsibility for this man. That his apartment is inhabitable. There is no one to care for him. Then let the State take over. They will assign a guardian for him who will make decisions concerning his care and where he is placed. He is passed an Assisted Living care. You have enough on ur plate without worrying about him.

Make sure they know you will not be picking him up. If you do, as soon as you walk out those hospital doors, he is now your responsibility. Its not your responsibility to find someone to clean his apartment either. Your divorced for a reason. If they do send him home, call Adult Protection Services and tell them he is a vulnerable adult.

Come back and tell us what happens. Your experience helps others.

There is absolutely no such thing as “affordable help for hire” any longer. Nobody wants to work cheap any more, alas. And if, by some miracle, you find some, well, you will get what you pay for. And the hassle of correcting them, overseeing them, making sure they do not steal or sleep on the job..ugh. No. Hard NO. You tell ol’ EX he is on his own. Your son can do as he likes (if he is able) but you are an “ex” for a reason.

I asked about Medicaid because in SOME jurisdictions, Medicaid will pay for home rehabilitation.

Medicare does not.

You need to speak to social services and discharge planning. I don't think it is safe to place your ex in the same circumstances that sent him to hospital. Don't allow him to return home alone without a wellness check on the apartment by APS. I would caution you to step back; do not become a POA or the person responsible in what doesn't look like safe placement. Give your ex phone numbers to call, and step away would be my advice. I doubt you will find there are services without a large cost for contaminated premises. This likely involves need of mattress replacement and many other things.

i agree with joann;s 29 answer, do not attempt to take him home...