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C
chossois Asked February 2023

Mom's Sundowner is getting worse and causing trouble at the Memory Care facility. Any advice?

Mom is having an increasingly difficult time. According to one aid and one nurse, individually they both reported to me that she has often become very confused, insisting on going home. According to the reports I got she raises her voice and becomes argumentative and verbally abusive to both staff and other residents. Both staff members expressed that they understand the behavior and recognize that it is not consistent with the mild-mannered person they see all day, it is Sundowning. However they have asked for my assistance. I advised them to begin giving the Mirtazapine at dinner as I think this may help with the early evening sundowning. Any other thoughts about what we can do? Thanks.

JoAnn29 Feb 2023
I have to agree, this is the MCs job not yours. If Moms sundowning is so bad the Nurse calls the doctor and gets a prescription for her. Yes, they should inform u about problems but they need to follow thru. The first thing I would have said, thats your job. That is why she is paying the big bucks. You are the pros not me. And for me I would have said, if I could handle her, she would not be in MC.

Geaton777 Feb 2023
Ditto to the comments that this is what the facility is getting paid for.

Is she getting the Mirtazapine currrently at a different time of the day? How long has she been on it? WebMD info says it can take up to 4 weeks to start working. Why do you think giving it to her at dinner will change anything? Not challenging you, just needing more info so that responders can give you better guidance.

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lealonnie1 Feb 2023
So a memory care facility that's charging your mom many tens of thousands of dollars per month expects her to be the mild mannered little lady 24/7 and now that she's Sundowning and wanting to go home, they're asking YOU for help? And how much rent is being refunded?

This is beyond ridiculous behavior on their part. This memory care facility should be very well versed on this very common issue among residents and have trained staff who know how to distract and comfort upset elders. I'd demand a care meeting immediately with the admin to see how THEY plan to handle this situation or when you should plan to move mom out to a facility who knows what they're doing!
Geaton777 Feb 2023
Exactly!
AlvaDeer Feb 2023
This is memory care. This is the work they are HIRED and paid to do. I am afraid I don't understand. What are they suggesting you do about this?

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