Mom has a litany of ailments everyday. Any advice?

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CaringDaughter7 Asked February 2023

Mom has a litany of ailments everyday. Any advice?

I know many of you are dealing with acute and chronic illnesses with your loved ones. My mom has no 'terminal' of truly serious aliments comparatively, however, EVERYDAY, we hear about her dry eyes (burning), hearing loss, losing her voice, weakness, etc etc.

I feel compassion BUT the down attitude and 'wanting to go' are beyond what we expected. She has caregivers and my sister and I (when we're not working) to care for her. She is in her own house. Mom is 86 years old and has spinal stenosis which impairs her mobility and macular degeneration impacting her sight. She has failed on antidepressants but does take xanax as needed.

QUESTION TO ALL: Is the chronic complaining, and wanting to go on common in your experience? She was a VERY active person before 80 and does not like the fact that she cannot do anything anymore.

Any experiences to share?

Age Related Decline Depression Mobility Senior Health

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score 1 · Answer 1

Can the caregivers take mom for a drive or to visit friends . Even wheelchair bound folks need some fresh air & sunshine. It might brighten her spirits.

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score 0 · Answer 2

She may like a nice Assisted living. Being home all day must be boring for someone who was active. In an AL she will join others for meals. She will have socialization, activities, outings and entertainment. A room of her own to relax to. Her hearing, wear aides. Its not always best to be in ur own home.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Yes, this has been my mom since, well, a long time. Honestly, I think part of it comes from fear of being disable and part of it comes from having nothing better to talk about. Sometimes I take it seriously, other times I have trained myself to say..."oh, that's awful" or I, in turn, regale with a litany of aches and pains. I will say, it does make it difficult to discern when she is on the edge of something serious, so just keep an eye out.

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score 0 · Answer 4

Are you and your sister living with your mother? In another post, you wrote: "Went from having a caregiver 4 hours a day to 24-hour private care which is a fortune, but she is home." What kind of caregiving do you have to do when you are not working?

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score 0 · Answer 5

You say that mom used to be very active and doesn't like that she can't be anymore. Of course she doesn't like it. Who would?
Imagine if you yourself couldn't go and do like you once did. Wouldn't you be unhappy about it? I know I would. That's why we're to enjoy and make the most of every day, as none of us know what the future holds for us.
And I'm guessing that most elderly folks when they start losing their abilities, not only get down about it, but also start thinking about not wanting to live anymore, because to them they're really not living anyway.
If you don't want to listen to her complaining just walk away and tell her you'll come back when she can be more positive.

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Mom has a litany of ailments everyday. Any advice?

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