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marte48 Asked February 2023

POA power of attorney sibling. Any advice?

POA is a sibling who has never helped out with Mom. I have been taking care of my 100+ yr old mother since 1998, over 20 years. One sister has been very helpful for the past few years, mostly the past year. But our older brother has done nothing at all, and is still granted power of atty. Since there will be alot of money ($2mil) from the sale of the house (where I live and take care of Mom) I am afraid that he will cheat me. He will know how to do it. And, he and his wife have always been very entitled. No house has ever been grand enough for them. While I have enabled my mother to save her social security money to give away to grandchildren, he has contributed nothing to her care.

JoAnn29 Feb 2023
If Mom has a Will and brother is Executor, he can't cheat you. Probate will be involved. There will be an accting of the estate. At that time you can contest it. You can ask how he spent Moms money as POA. He has to abide by the contents of the Will. I had a lawyer finish probate for me. When the house was sold and everyone signed off on the accting, the lawyer wrote the checks to the beneficiaries. I signed as executor. He handed me mine and he mailed my brothers theirs.
MJ1929 Feb 2023
If it's in a trust, though, it can be done with no lawyers and no probate, and cheating could be done quite easily.

OP needs to ask Mom if the aasets are in a will or a trust, then ask to see them if she's willing.
AlvaDeer Feb 2023
Quite honestly this has been going on, if I understand you, for two decades. You have chosen to take care of your Mom and allowed someone else to be the POA. That isn't something I would have done.
The only thing I can suggest is that you speak with the brother and if you are not satisfied that you tell him you will be seeing an elder law attorney to check on your rights and options. Then do just that.
I sure do wish you good luck, and I sure do wish you had addressed this on day one, or at least on day 365. Because as I said, this is late now to do much about. Be guided by the expert. See an attorney.

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CTTN55 Feb 2023
"I have been taking care of my 101 yr old mother for over 20 years. It does not get easier, and with dementia, you live in fear that she will leave everything to the church, or to the brother who never does a damn thing to help. Sleep is a luxury that you have to get whenever you can. I depend upon Tums and aspirin."

In another post, you wrote that there are 8 siblings. Do you think the $2M will be split equally amongst all of you?

Why did you take on the care of your mother for so long with no compensation? You should have been compensated all along, instead of your hoping for some kind of compensation from her estate.

Geaton777 Feb 2023
If the house will be sold after your Mom passes, then the Executor is the one who manages this. PoA ends immediately upon the death of the assigner.

If your Mother still has most of her cognative abilities then she is still able to create a new PoA.

If your brother sells your Mom's house while she's still alive, the proceeds should go towards the cost of her care first, not paid out to inheritors. Inheritance comes after she passes. Once she passes, her estate may need to go through probate first.

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