I want an older cat. I am a 67 yr old women in an assisted living facility. My daughter lives 5 minutes away, and she is very ill. Any advice?

I think getting a pet is more than whether we want one or not. It's also what's best for the animal. If you already are identifying problems that may occur if you get one then it's probably best to reconsider. I've never considered pets as property. They are living, breathing creatures who deserve the best someone can give them.

I am sorry to hear about your daughter's ill health.

I think if you could independently buy, afford & care for a cat plus your AL is ok with it, then it could work for you.

However, if you will require a lot of help to find, buy & look after a cat from your daughter, it may not be something she can or wants to do.

If so, are there other ways to include animals into your life? Usually dogs, but are there volunteer animals that visit?
Or birds to feed outside?

I suggest that you all read OPs previous posts. She has been posting on and off since August 2021. Numerous problems with AL she is in. I would say that this AL probably will not allow the cat. One thing to enter with an animal and another to get one once you have been there. She has to be able to fully care for it. Its not the aides responsibility. I think the foster program would be the best choice since the daughter does not want the responsibility of a cat if Mom passes.

If you are on Medicaid, the entire personal allowance is unlikely to cover a cat’s needs. You might be able to work with a sympathetic AL to get a cat for the facility itself. Perhaps contact the local Pet Peace of Mind hospice partner for advice or to see if they provide support for cats already in their program that outlive their humans,

“ For more information about Summa Health Pet Peace of Mind® Program, call Summa Health Hospice at 234.312.6250.”
https://www.summahealth.org/specializedservices/hospice/PetPeaceMind

If you are on self pay at the AL and have more than enough money to pay for the next five years and more, then as long as you have capacity you may be able to make things happen. Confirm with the AL that a cat would be permitted. Identify a pet caretaker that could come by once a week to restock supplies, do the heavy litter box work, and take to scheduled vet appointments. Be prepared to buy pet insurance. See if a local rescue will agree to continue the insurance and rehome your pet if needed in return for a sizable contribution now.

If you are going with the “money is no object” plan, take a few moments to think about whether you have taken financial advantage of your daughter and how best to correct that. Paying someone to take the cat to the local vet while not offering anything to your daughter anything for much more demanding doctor visits, sends a bad message. A caregiver contract that compensates her in real time is likely better than a possible inheritance.

Once you’ve worked out a plan that doesn’t burden your daughter, find a good time to talk to her about it.

So what would happen to the cat if you die since daughter and son do not want a cat?

I believe the shelter in my area that seeks seniors to foster senior cats will pick up and deliver the cat to you and to the vet. Volunteers do this. I'm sure they prefer that to euthanizing elderly cats. If they don't offer this service, ask. There might be someone happy to do it. Even an aide at the AL might be glad to take a pet to the vet if paid a bit extra during her off hours.

I've had cats that live to 18 and 19 years old. One had an allergy in her last couple of years, but no big deal as to overall health. The other wasn't sick a day in her life until her final day.

A cat can be a fine companion, and I hope medmistakes finds one. Her daughter being unable to help could be worked around with a bit of planning. As for the litter box, if you can't see, all you have to do is sniff. You'll find it.

What we want and what we can handle are two different things.

You acknowledge your daughter is not in the best of health yet you selfishly keep harping on getting a cat.

Please stop. Just stop.

Sometimes we cant get what we want or we put aside our wants because we kmow it would be a burden to a loved one.


If you are bored or lonely try socializing more with the people in assisted living. If you cant do that then you are not capable of taking care of an animal.

You know, medmistakes, I understand. I am currently 80 years old. I have all my adult life had cats and dogs. When, at age 78, my partner and I lost our last little dog, we so wanted another. Instead we chose fostering. To get an animal now that will likely outlive us seems not fair to the animal itself. And it is getting more and more difficult to even FIND a vet (I am afraid harder and harder to see our owns docs now, appointments far out and often with a PA).
So we chose not to get the cat. We try to co-foster dogs, to dog sit, to do just about anything to be able still to get our hands on fur. A friend recently was left three feral cats, one looking so like my siamese mix I lost years ago. There is no question I WANT it. But I know it isn't for the best. And it isn't always about what I want.
I sure wish you the best. Just try to celebrate the love you HAVE experienced in memory with/of the pets you have had. I am an atheist, but I sure do hope there's a rainbow bridge for them all, and that I will get to see it. My best to you.

There is a Lifeline cat rescue near you when I looked up Dayton Ohio. They may be able to assist in your need -- 1-937-620-9281

Find a foster program that pairs senior citizens with senior cats. You’ll take care of the cat daily in your home, but the shelter that places cat with you is responsible for vet care and food. There’s such a shelter in my area. Search online to find one near you.

Your posts are confusing, Your profile says you are taking care of your mother, and another one says your mother is in an AL facility.

Regardless, don't make a cat someone else's responsibility. Your D doesn't want to take your cat to the vet. So accept that you won't have a pet in the AL facility.