I am caring for my grandmother who is on hospice in my home. She is on morphine and an anti anxiety drug and can barely speak. I moved her here because her son who was "caring" for her is awful. She wanted to be with me and her great grandkids. I found out my uncle (her son) has access to my brother's debit card in her name that she manages because he is autistic and in a group home. He pulled out money and I called to cancel the card. Now they won't issue another card unless they speak to my grandmother. I told them she can't speak and they had the nerve to say she has to come in the bank. She's literally bedridden and can't even use the restroom much less go to a bank. So now my brothers money is basically frozen and I don't know what to do. I need access to that money to pay for rent in his group home. However he isn't on the account it's just in grandmother's name. Anyone know what I can do here? Retrospectively I feel like I should have just said I was her but I've already explained the situation to one person who was less then helpful. Where do I go from here? His disability checks are directly deposited into her account that I've canceled the card to due to theft. I just need another card issued to access the money. Thanks for reading. Any suggestions?
14 Answers
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Fraud
Elder abuse
Theft.
You need to first make a police report.
Secondly, someone who is able to do this fiduciary duty needs to apply for temporary guardianship or conservatorship. They will then be given papers with which they can manage accounts and finances. The banks SHOULD protect, until them, all funds in your grandmother's accounts.
It is important whomever applies for guardianship understand that this is a legal fiduciary duty that will be held to the highest standards of meticulous record keeping of every penny in and out of accounts.
See an attorney. File police reports. This is reportable to the DA.
Call APS if you need help to get started and tell them what you have told us.
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In the olden days, the Tellers knew their customers by name as the customers would stop in regularly with doing banking business. And the customers would know all the people in the bank by name. I know my late parents did. Now a days it is more difficult as so many are using their cellphones for banking business, there is no face time with anyone at bank.
I would think GMom is brothers payee with SS. Someone else needs to apply for payee. Also, if that acct was frozen, SS may not be able to deposit into that acct. SS needs to be notified of any changes. They do not recognize POA. Is Uncle POA?
if she doesn't have a PoA and if she's well enough to manage a Zoom meeting and answer questions then she's well enough/has capacity to create a DPoA. In her case it might be best to download the forms from Legalzoom.com or Rocketlawyer.com. Then you will need a notary who makes house calls and 2 no-family witnesses (usually: it varies by state).
Other than this you will either have to involve social services for her county or pursue guardianship of your Grandma, which will be very expensive and time-consuming and you will need to prove she doesn't have capacity and it can probably be contested by her son or other relatives.
Maybe consider a consultation with an elder law attorney to see what the best options are.
FYI it is NOT unreasonable for the bank to protect their customers from fraud & financial abuse by insisting she be properly ID'ed. I had to drag in both my Aunts, ages 100 and 102 at the time (one with advanced dementia and the other who was barely mobile) by myself to their bank just to add me as their FPoA.
Attorneys meet with elderly clients in their homes. Even some doctors are making house calls again. What a shame that you had to bring your aunts to the bank.
I think if your uncle is POA, you are going to have to contact APS (Adult Protective Services) and report him for misusing the funds of an incapacitated elder (and a vulnerable adult too, your brother). Hopefully APS would be able to advise you how to deal with the debit card situation as quickly as possible to make sure your brother’s housing and care isn’t disrupted.
I am so sorry you are going through this at such a stressful time already. Your grandmother is lucky to have such a caring granddaughter.
Meanwhile call your brother's facility's managers and explain the situation to them. It sounds as though your grandmother will no longer be able to act for him in any way and he is going to need a guardian. They should have the right contacts to give useful, practical advice on the best way to proceed to protect his interests. By the way, if you don't want to volunteer for that role indefinitely it would be best to make it known from the outset.
If she cannot speak, sign or act for herself, then she cannot. This is when a POA takes over (often needing a Doctor letter to confirm).
Do you know if your Grandmother appointed a POA?
Did you try to do a replacement card online before you cancelled the card? Probably not, huh?
Can she sign her name if you type up a letter?
Does she have an attorney that she uses? I would contact an attorney and explain the situation.
Maybe you could ask if the bank can send someone to your home.