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Kinglilly Asked March 2023

My mom has last stage Alzheimer’s. What will happen if I pass before her?

She also has two large pressure sores where the bone is showing. It’s being cleaned and changed daily. She is under hospice care at the nursing home, I travel 100 miles a week to visit and make sure she eats one full meal a day, plus her laundry (I choose to do because of so much theaft). Hospice has asurred me they will come out and help me as there is no one but my husband in the home. My question is; What papers do I need drawn up in case I go first? What will happen to my mom? My husband will not be able to care for her himself. I am POA plus have medical power. I just want to be prepared any suggestions please.

Grandma1954 Mar 2023
If there are no other family members that would care for mom most likely she would become a Ward of the State and a Guardian would be assigned to her by the Court.
It is very possible that your husband could do all that needs to be done for your mom from a distance. You accept the fact that things will get "lost, misplaced, damaged" in the facility laundry.
If you are thinking about bringing mom into your home to care for her think long and hard about that.
She will decline with a move.
Is your home set up to care for her even with the help of Hospice. They are not there 24/7 so you will most likely need to hire caregivers (use mom's assets to pay for any caregivers)

funkygrandma59 Mar 2023
Why are you thinking that you'll go before your mom? Are you burning the candle from both ends and not taking proper care of yourself?
If mom has such severe pressure sores(I can't help but think Kennedy ulcer which is usually fatal)she won't be here much longer anyway.
And if you do die before she does(again I'm not sure why you're thinking along those lines)and there is no alternative POA, then the state can take over her care.
I would suggest that instead of worrying if you're going to die before your mom, that you just enjoy whatever time you have left with your mom, as it sounds like she's not going to be here much longer.
Blessings to you and your mom.

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PeggySue2020 Mar 2023
Get a room near the nh for a week. Spend at least 12 hours daily shadowing the tasks that have to be done first.

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