My father sometimes acts up to make a bad situation worse. If he feels weak he pretends to not be able to walk. But if he needs to go to the bathroom he can walk. I've talked with him and explained that I can't tell when it's real or put on. He's 86 and he wants to die, or so he says. Freaks out if we are late with his tube feedings or meds. I don't know how much longer mom and I can do this. I tell him we're going to get help and he refuses. I actually could deal with the medical but the head games are too much.
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What is your and your mother's life like. What is the "bad situation"? Have you quit a job?
What is the financial status of your parents? Do you have siblings? (If so, why is it you that has apparently given up your life to be your father's caregiver?)
His frustration is causing frustration for you and your mother.
If you feel that you can no longer go on like this, then perhaps it would be better for everyone involved if you and your mom resign as his caregivers and allow others to care for him.
Facilities have a complete staff that are trained to deal with these situations. They can provide care for him as needed.
Your father will acclimate to his surroundings and you and your mother can visit him with less stress than you have now.
You can assume the role of being his advocate and oversee that he is receiving the care that he deserves in the facility that you chose for him.
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As to "mind games", dad isn't capable now of planning them and carrying them out with any meaningful malice aforethought. He is simply acting and reacting with disinhibition, on the moment and in the moment.
I am so sorry things are rough right now. How long have you been caring for Dad at home, and are you currently doing this alone or is your Mom attempting to do this for the most part on her own? I wish you the best.