Mom keeps trying to figure a way to get back to condo after 3 month admission to NH. Any advice?

At this point in life, I think jusdicious use of psych meds may be the best 'cure'. Keeping mom calm and keeping the nighttime drama to a level that can be dealt with would help a lot.

Sadly, the 'ugliness' of aging is that we really lose the person we loved. And it's like we're dealing with a whole other person..which is kind of what we are doing.

If it helps to know this--I've never heard of a person 'returning home' and it being the best decision. It just sets up a whole level of need that often simply cannot be met.

Wanting to "go home" is called Sundowning and is a very common behavior in those with dementia. The home she is referring to is her childhood home, since this is what remains in her long-term memory. The staff should know how to gently deal with this, including getting her to shower. But this may require an added "a la carte" service from the facility.

If she does attempt to escape, the admins will probably recommend transitioning her to MC. She doesn't need to "accept" anything since it is for her own good.

FYI elders fall in their own homes without being on meds all the time. Please continue to work with her doctor to find a med or combo that will help her. This is merciful, since she *cannot* get herself back into a mental state of acceptance and peace due to her broken brain.

Thank you
unfortunately my brother who has Parkinson’s is POA. I have suggested anti depressant but has not happened. I really do not at this age an antidepressant will help. Hospice gave her Ativan three times a day and fell. Very irresponsible on there part.

I would, if you are POA, discuss with MD whether some short term low dose anti depressent might be worth a try? The sudden illness and now the acceptance that this is to be her final time has got to be devastating to her in so far as she can grasp it. I am certain you believe she is well placed in terms of safety so that she cannot herself attempt to leave the facility.

I am afraid you will for now be left with the platitude of giving this some time. Understand that no one caused this and no one can really fix it. It is what happens for so many toward the end, with one thing after another being taken away.

I sure wish you luck and hope things get better.