Dad lives in filth and is stubborn. Any suggestions?

social services is a good idea. was he always like this ? some things never change just get worse

annmrd24: Perhaps you'll have to get social services involved even if he refuses as it's not good for his health to live in filth.

Without more details, I’m just gonna go for it-Get him out of the house and clean it up anyway. Too bad he doesn’t like it you gotta do what you gotta do and it’s in the name of love and doing the right thing- he’ll just have to deal with it. Good luck

https://www.schenectadycounty.com/adultprotective

Call health department. He may need to go into a facility once his home is deemed unfit for human habitation.

Move him out. Tell him he can participate or you will make the arrangements, then do it. This is your home too, and your life he is trashing, It is non-negotiable. If he can't keep his environment clean he has to live where someone will do it for him. That someone isn't you!

I just read ur other post. Does Dad have Dementia. If not, your home your rules. Maybe you should have put down a Pergo type floor. That dog would be gone. Your Dad should be paying for the destruction it is causing.

If he has Dementia place him this situation is not working. If he doesn't have Dementia, he needs to find a place to live. You have a right to set boundries. If he won't abide by them you have a right to ask him to find another place to live.

By choice? Or from impairment?

If he is deemed competent, there is nothing you can do to make him change. All you can do is change how you deal with it. You can either try and help or refuse to go to his house until he changes (he won't change). The only thing you can do is wait until he is either considered incompetent and unable to care for himself or for a disaster to happen.

Perhaps tell him you would not visit until he resolves this, offer help in hiring somebody but don’t get involved in actual cleaning.

Sorry to hear this. What kind of filth are we talking about? Food? Trash? General hoarding? How long has this been going on? Does he live alone? In a house or apartment?

At his age and living in filth, I have to wonder if he has some cognitive decline going on. If this is really unhealthy and unsanitary, I think something really has to be done about it, whether he agrees to it or not. Not having ever had to deal with this myself, I am at a loss for how exactly to proceed, but I wish you the best of luck in improving this situation.

I don’t know what you can do about this situation other than asking him if he would be agreeable to hiring a housekeeper to help him clean up.

I am sorry that you have to see your father living in filth.

Have you contacted Council on Aging in your area? If dad qualifies, he can receive, light housekeeping, simple meals prepared and help with bathing, etc.

It must be beyond difficult to see your dad living this way. Sadly, if he has a sound mind, he’s likely free to live the way he chooses. You can report the situation to your local Adult Protective Services and see if they might be of help. Otherwise, you’ll have to wait out a bad event that will inevitably come and will force change for your dad. That’s an awful feeling, but one many here have experienced. Sorry you’re dealing with this