She’s upset, confused, has had short-term memory loss, but is now having mood swings and calling me constantly from her bed. I’m terrified she will never leave this place and is slipping away cognitively. I’ve heard dementia can unveil itself when elders are in a new situation. My sister also has mental illness and they live together, very codependent, and I can’t count on her for anything. Not even a visit. Trying to keep my own sanity dealing with both of them. My heart breaks for my mom. She’s in a diaper and terrified to fall again. It’s a nightmare and my nerves are raw. Any advice would be appreciated. I am a puddle of tears every day and don’t know what to do. Thanks.
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You are in the *crises stage* now.
Breathe. Ensure you eat, sleep, exercise if you can.
The future will be revealed slowly.
Note that *Delerium* can happen to the elderly. When unwell, injured, under stress, in crises, in hospital. Delirium differs from dementia & can lift.
One day at a time is good advice.
PS Tears are quite ok. I think of them as little gems of adjustment. Shed them as you need. (((Hugs)))
Again, I am so sorry. Get rest and care for yourself so you can endure.
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My own mother has been living with me for 5+ years and as of last week is under Hospice care. I took it as far as I could without Hospice but she contracted a cough from a sitter and it has almost done her in.
So far, Hospice has been wonderful and they've gotten us everything that she has needed - supplemental oxygen, a nebulizer, diapers, pads, gloves, cleansing products, nurse visits, aide visits, 24/7 availability, etc.
It is exhausting work, but you will have no regrets. Having our loved one at home, in familiar surroundings goes a long way in keeping them comfortable and out of distress.
My husband has Parkinson’s and falls are more frequent. Recent one was terrifying, I just turn around to get him some water, few seconds, he fell backwards and cracked his skull. Imagine blood on white tiles, everywhere and so much I panicked, Luckily only few stitches were needed, but, reality is I know there is nothing to prevent falls 100% and staggering number of people fall everyday and die. Common with PD, that and choking which is more with disease advancing. I have to accept it, he is almost never alone, but, it takes only seconds.
Yes, it is common for our elders to become confused and have increased dementia in a strange place. Her sundowning may be worse too. You can speak with the care team about a mild med for anxiety. Be careful that she is not over medicated. Feel free to speak up if the meds are too strong.
Forget about help from your sister and do what needs to be done.
If mom has no fractures she needs to be at least moved to a wheelchair and be out and about.
Most important please take care of yourself. This is a very hard time for you!
Thank you for caring so about your mom..
I know it’s not easy but hang in there. I did also find that my mindset affected her mindset. In other words, if I was calm, she was calm. It is an overwhelming situation, but it will get better. My mom is now more herself, and we are planning on getting her home as soon as she is able to. Much luck to you.
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