Should I get help, therapy?

You can get all the therapy from all the professionals on earth, and still wind up burned out from too many years of caregiving for a man who's obviously unable to stop his OCD behaviors. Likely stemming from PD dementia which will only worsen with time. Imo, therapy is only warranted when we're able and willing to make changes in life that will benefit our situations. As in place dh in managed care, hire respite carers to come to your home, get him into AL for a 2 week respite for you, daycare, etc. Stop being a 24/7 caregiver now and look after yourself before YOU need AL or drugs to function! There are TWO important lives at stake here, not just one.

Best of luck to you

Kk9251,

Of course, you are exhausted. Even in the best of circumstances it is emotionally and physically exhausting to care for someone for an ongoing period of time. I cared for my mom who had Parkinson’s disease and dementia.

Sure, speak to a licensed professional to gain an objective opinion. It will only help if you are completely honest with them and yourself.

Therapy can help you find the tools needed to move forward and make necessary changes for you and your husband.

I can look back at therapy sessions that I had and I know that I was not completely honest at first about how I felt.

For instance, my therapist told me that I was unwilling to admit that caring for my mother was becoming a burden for me. He also told me that my situation was affecting other relationships in my life (my husband, children, friends, etc.) He was absolutely correct in his assessment of the situation.

So, while it is important to speak about our feelings. It’s equally important to listen to others opinions. This is how we learn.

It may seem foreign at first because we have been in a rut for so long! We have to be willing to reprogram how we process information. It can take awhile. Don’t go once or twice and give up. Stay as long as it takes, months if necessary.

Wishing you well in finding a good therapist to begin working on how to resolve this issue.

Yes, you should get therapy.

I recommend seeing a Licensed Social Worker in private counseling practice.
They are often best at life transitions work. You aren't there for therapy per se in that you need to sit with Freudian discussions of your toilet training as a baby. You are there to make some tough adaptation and some tough decisions for your own and your hubby's future.
You need options and guidance.

You are surely up against tough times and have my every sympathy and my heart absolutely goes out to you.

Thank you all for your suggestions and support.

Yes you need a support group too!

Do you think husband is getting Dementia? It goes hand and hand with parkinsons.

Therapy yes but for him too. He needs to learn how to deal with his anger and frustration. Neither of you asked for this. You both have to learn how deal with it.

He gets out, why shouldn't you? Continue with your cards with the girls and visiting family.

Please schedule an appointment with the Geriatric Psychiatrist who can evaluate your husband and share his reality with him (he may need medications for his anxiety. An Elder Law Attorney can help you strategize paying for services and surviving. It sounds like your husband is ready for Assisted Living and you're ready to retire your caretaker hat. You might want to start visiting the facilities and look into Continued Care if that is something you want. Playing tug-o-war with an Alzheimer's/Parkinson's Disease patient is not a career opportunity: let go and free yourself up.

I understand how you feel as my husband has Parkinson’s disease as well, diagnosed around 7 years ago but it is longer than that. No dementia and totally involved in every aspect of life.
But motor skills are getting worse and more levodopa is helping and creating more problems.
I am not sure about your husband’s obsession or worries about money, but who does not worry about money with everything going up? Only super rich, the rest of us worry.
Maybe you can turn it into something positive, him doing budget, or spreadsheet with projections. It really is simple. My husband takes care of finances, he is CPA but so am I so I am aware of every dollar we spend. And of course we worry because if dementia shows up he will need more care or facility about $10,000 a month around here.
But the most important thing with Parkinson’s disease is even small accomplishment , his neurologist encourages total independence and doing things which in turn increase dopamine naturally, as with everybody any accomplishment small or bigger gives us a boost.
So encourage your husband to do maybe sudoku or different things involving numbers.
We both love traveling as well. Last trip this winter to Mexico was good for us, as we go to the same condo and know 10 or more people lots of socializing. Of course, I have to adjust my expectations because I would like to travel to different countries, not sure if it will be possible at all, probably not, nevertheless we are planning summer in Mediterranean, maybe we go maybe not, but, even planning keeps my husband happy.
But mostly we try to live in the presence, I get respite, help with other things, he goes out on his own with his buddies then we have once or twice dinner with different friends together. I am just independent type and require my own space and time for my own interests.
My husband walks with walker mostly and falls as well, last one cracking his head was frightening but amazingly only few stitches required. i know very well falls and choking are going to get worse.
I am accepting the progression most of the times.
And as for therapy I got advice after his 3 surgeries and lots of complications to focus more on myself.

Yes, please get some therapy. You need an outlet to confide in, someone to give you ideas, someone who is non-judgemental for the situation you find yourself in.

When one is dealing with a patient with severe illness, one is bound to make mistakes. However, the patient many times is not emotionally available to excuse the mistakes. A therapist is quite useful in helping you to personalize your caregiving and coping skills so that you can function adequately in both worlds (yours and the patient's) and all the worlds in-between.

I wish you well in your journey.

P.S. You might want to look into a Parkinson's support group. There you might be able to find some people who can give you ideas on how to handle specific situations. I suggest that something like this would be in addition to personalized therapy. At this time, any knowledge and ideas will help you with the future.

Kk9251: Yes, please do seek out therapy.