Hi Folks,
My sibs brought my Mom to live with me since she was evicted from her AL. It's going much differently than any of us expected. She was totally wide awake the entire trip and excited to be here with us. Since that burst, she's essentially been sleeping most of the day, eating very little (some days nothing at all), and has now decided she doesn't want to drink anything. She loves listening to 50's music though. She spits out any meds I attempt to give her, so it is what it is.
It's been a roller coaster ride trying to get hospice here. I'm lucky as she appears peaceful and without pain at the moment. From your experiences, I'm just wondering if there is anything that I should be watching out for, or any thing you found useful/good for you/good for them during this time period with your LO.
Such good advice and care on this forum. Thank you!
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace as you continue to grieve.
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"...Mad that my sister blocked my Mom's move here for so many months..." I don't understand people who do this sort of stuff. I'm sorry that you had to deal with it. And I hope that at some point you will have a chance to address this with your sister and understand why she would have done such a thing. People can be so hurtful.
Edit: oops, just saw your update, sorry for your loss. It sounds like you handled everything perfectly.
Just wanted the best for her, so of course, now embracing the could have, should have, would have scenario questioning that comes with death.
WIll check it out. I know she's good now, and was good as she transitioned. Just questioning -could this have been better...
However, I hear her in my head letting me know that she is very good. It's okay. She is fine. Everything is good!
Thanks again.
My Mom peacefully died on the 19th after having 2 days of wonderful hospice care (finally). She had just had a nice bath, a new nightie, music and nice candles burning that she liked. Both hospice and "Hospice Nurse Julie" taught me a lot.
Hospice said I did great, and while I know her suffering has ended, I am also sad and am angry. Mad at myself for not being able to get hospice here sooner. Mad that my sister blocked my Mom's move here for so many months. Mad I didn't have more time to enjoy her company. Just sad, mad, sad, mad, sad, mad the whole time while also being so grateful that she could be here with us the last month of her life. Just wish it had been longer and I could have given her the care she deserved sooner.
I know it doesn't sound like I'm grateful, but I am. She is at peace now. I think I just need to focus on that right now.
Thank you all again. Peace and blessings <3
It really does work to breathe deeply and let it all go.
Getting her into our peaceful home was a blessing.
Glad your mom is not in pain and in comfortable surroundings.
God bless you and your family during this difficult time,
I have never heard of "Hospice Nurse Julie", but will check her out for sure. What I am afraid of is if she doesn't stay peaceful and exhibits pain.
Thank you so much for this information and blessings.
I too am very glad that she is here. She can listen to all the 50's music she enjoys and have prayers said to her too as she wishes among other things.
Thank you again!
I wish I had done this sooner. She seems peaceful. Maybe moving here has allowed her to be where she truly is on her path.
The world works in mysterious ways, we can't know all. Only do our best.
Even the hospice roller coaster has gone from infuriating to amusement (so what could possibly happen next? Oh that could happen...). I doubt I would feel this way if my Mom seemed pained, that would be a whole other can of worms, but maybe the roller coaster is in her best interest. I just can't see it.
Thank you again.
The only nutrients she will take is a blended fruit drink I get her from Starbucks. There is a pretty pink one she is enjoying.
The wonderful hospice nurse told me this is her body starting to shut down. It gets more serious if no liquid is consumed.
Take care and all good and peaceful wishes to you and your Mom.
1 - Hospice in state she left said, to wait until she settled here.
2 - First hospice here, said all good, then they told me the next day she needed a primary care doctor's referral.
3 - Called local docs, no one is accepting new patients for at least a month.
4 - Called her doc in the state she left to send referral. So they sent the referral.
3 - First hospice now says they won't accept an out of state referral.
4 - New hospice says they will assign a primary doc. Need her medical records.
5 - Doc office, with medical records, sends me wrong form.
6 - Doc office finally sends the correct form at their closing time.
7 - Faxed it back, but Doc office closed for Good Friday.
8 - Doc office staff emailed me saying they faxed it.
9 - Medical director approval needed.
10 - Call hospice, they have not received any records.
11 - Oh wait, the Doc office didn't send the records as the person who sends records was off for several days, so the records did not get sent as stated.
12 - Said again, they will send.
13 - Hospice says they still didn't receive it. They call.
14 - Still no records they say even after they called, and the Doc office says they are ready to send.....
15 - In the midst of this, my primary says he will take her one, but he is away and won't be back for another week.....
........yes, everyday has been stunningly crazy. Yet, my Mom is peaceful thankfully.
I expect the unexpected at this point. Feel like I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!
Thanks for asking. I was trying to spare the details, but here's a bit of a summary of what might happen too when seeking hospice care.
Unbelievable I know, but true.
Hospice will be better able to answer any questions you may have as everyone's experience is different. And because the good folks at hospice are human they are often very wrong on their assessments as well.
My late husband was under hospice care in our home for the last 22 months of his life and I was told several times that the end was near when it wasn't. When his time finally was here, hospice told me he would be dead in 3 days and it took him 41 days of not eating and about 25 days with no drink, before he finally passed.
So the moral of the story is....only the Good Lord knows the day and time that He will call your mom Home, so just enjoy whatever time you may have left with her and leave nothing left unsaid.
God bless you.
See about to find out more of our roller coaster with hospice care. Strange, but true.