She wouldn’t need a credit or debit card if you set up online accounts with Amazon and Walmart or similar. She tells you what she needs and you order, they deliver and you pay with her funds.
She shouldn’t be driving and doesn’t need to buy gas.
Set up online autopay for household utilities, and they’ll debit her account every month.
Start looking for a facility that she’d enjoy, and stop the 500 mile road trips. It’s ridiculous to have to mold yourself to her disease, and you need to get back to normal.
About Me I am tiring to help my Mom take better care of her self and stay in her home as long as she can. I live 560 miles away and have to drive for 9 hours to be there. I pay her bills and try to go with her to some of her Dr appointments . I do not want to move there and she doesn't want to move here. I don't like her living alone and think she would thrive in a different living situation.
Your mother should be in Assisted Living w mild dementia and Memory Care Assisted Living with advanced dementia. This arrangement you have going on is dangerous and likely to end up with a forced move into AL after a hospitalization. Living 560 miles away means she has nobody helping her daily, so hire help at a minimum, no choices mom. It's that or We sell the house immediately and you move to safety.
A preloaded debit card w a small balance on it may work, may not....depends. ..w/o more details nobody can speculate. Memory Care Assisted Living uses no cash, and AL allows the residents to charge to their apartments, as a rule.
Its time now to make plans for mom before disaster strikes, as has happened to so many of us.
I suggest you read this 33 of booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
My Mom canceled her credit card I guess after Dad died. She never had a debit/ATM card and U refuse to have one.
There is no reason for a person suffering from Dementia needs either. I like Willie's suggestion of a loaded card. Then they can only spend whatvis on the card.
My step-mother had one, she didn't use it, she just kept losing it, so we cancelled both her debit and credit cards. We must have cancelled cards 10 or more times for her. We also took the check book away.
She is now in MC, she doesn't need one, we order whatever she needs and provide it for her.
Honestly, she doesn't remember having either, so she is good.
My brother, when he was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's dementia by his symptoms asked me if I would take over his bills, his finances, his accounts, his POA and be the Trustee of his Trust. At that time he was quite with it. He and I contacted his charge card company together by phone. They agreed to send all bills to me after their received copies of his POA/Trustee agreement, and that the payments would come out of his trust account as usual with me as trustee, and that they held me responsible for any problems with the card. That was agreed to and I could monitor the account online daily if I wished to. My brother had his own small spending account. Typical of him, a saver all his life, he only GREW that account before his death.
I would go with safety. This can spell disaster in a moments notice. We hear of so very many scams. And do check out the AARP online pages for scams. They are more and more and more sophisticated.
I sure wish you good luck. As Dave Ramsey always says, tear up those credit cards.
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online accounts with Amazon and Walmart or similar. She tells you what she needs and you order, they deliver and you pay with her funds.
She shouldn’t be driving and doesn’t need to buy gas.
Set up online autopay for household utilities, and they’ll debit her account every month.
Start looking for a facility that she’d enjoy, and stop the 500 mile road trips. It’s ridiculous to have to mold yourself to her disease, and you need to get back to normal.
About Me
I am tiring to help my Mom take better care of her self and stay in her home as long as she can. I live 560 miles away and have to drive for 9 hours to be there. I pay her bills and try to go with her to some of her Dr appointments . I do not want to move there and she doesn't want to move here. I don't like her living alone and think she would thrive in a different living situation.
Your mother should be in Assisted Living w mild dementia and Memory Care Assisted Living with advanced dementia. This arrangement you have going on is dangerous and likely to end up with a forced move into AL after a hospitalization. Living 560 miles away means she has nobody helping her daily, so hire help at a minimum, no choices mom. It's that or We sell the house immediately and you move to safety.
A preloaded debit card w a small balance on it may work, may not....depends. ..w/o more details nobody can speculate. Memory Care Assisted Living uses no cash, and AL allows the residents to charge to their apartments, as a rule.
Its time now to make plans for mom before disaster strikes, as has happened to so many of us.
I suggest you read this 33 of booklet online about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Good luck to you
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There is no reason for a person suffering from Dementia needs either. I like Willie's suggestion of a loaded card. Then they can only spend whatvis on the card.
She is now in MC, she doesn't need one, we order whatever she needs and provide it for her.
Honestly, she doesn't remember having either, so she is good.
My brother, when he was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's dementia by his symptoms asked me if I would take over his bills, his finances, his accounts, his POA and be the Trustee of his Trust. At that time he was quite with it. He and I contacted his charge card company together by phone. They agreed to send all bills to me after their received copies of his POA/Trustee agreement, and that the payments would come out of his trust account as usual with me as trustee, and that they held me responsible for any problems with the card. That was agreed to and I could monitor the account online daily if I wished to.
My brother had his own small spending account. Typical of him, a saver all his life, he only GREW that account before his death.
I would go with safety. This can spell disaster in a moments notice. We hear of so very many scams. And do check out the AARP online pages for scams. They are more and more and more sophisticated.
I sure wish you good luck. As Dave Ramsey always says, tear up those credit cards.