my mom is 84 yrs old, she has dementia, breast cancer and heart disease. She lives at nursing home , she got a new roommate a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, this lady is bed bound and suffers from SCZ, she keeps
waking my mom up when she has episodes, she starts cursing, pulling the divider/curtain , ripping her clothes off, removing her colonoscopy tube . Screaming for help . She almost poisoned herself a few days ago. I feel sorry for her but I don’t believe she is receiving the care she really needs there and is disturbing my mom on regular basis. I have expressed my concerns with personnel but the only option they gave me was for my mom (who has been in this room for
over 3 years) to be moved to a different room/hall or for us to look into a different facility. How is this fair? Any advise? The facility has been focusing on getting occupancy rates up and they are loosing focus on their responsibility to provide good care and quality of life to all residents . They claim there is no issue since this lady can’t hurt my mother. The only way they keep this lady under control is by providing her with medication . This is a facility that accepts Medicaid and unfortunately I can’t afford a private pay one.
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They pulled this with my father who had a stroke. Some basketcase got thrown out of his group home for uncontrollable behavior. The people who run the place call an ambulance which took him to the ER. One day later he was roomies with my father in the nursing home.
I laid into them and would not let up. They moved my father within a day.
This is what you have to do. You cannot reason with these people and nursing home staff will just run you in circles.
I threatened to sleep in my father's room in a sleeping bag if they did not move him. They moved him and they will move your mother too. You must insist.
Also, if your mother has dementia why is she not in the memory care part of the nursing home?
I wrote a strongly worded letter and email, sent it to the facility administrator, DON, unit manager and social worker.
I cc'ed mom's lawyer.
I stated that my mother's roommate had created a dangerous, abusive and unsafe condition that was causing harm to my mother's mental and physical health. I asked them to provide me with their solution within 24 hours. After 24 hours, the state ombudsman and Joint Commision on NH accreditation would be contacted.
I sent the letter ar 2 pm. The abusive roommate was moved that evening.
I hope this works for you.
Don't "talk to staff". Go to the decision makers and put it in writing.
doing this next . This was very helpful!
Is the offered alternative room a smaller single room so your mom wouldn’t be assigned another roommate?
I’m so sorry that the nursing home isn’t seeing your side of this story. I would be terribly upset about them suggesting that your mom should move to another home. That is unacceptable.
Are there other incidents that you haven’t been satisfied with or is the main problem the roommate situation?
Are cameras allowed in your mom’s room? Catch it on film. Show them how the roommates actions are disturbing to your mother.
Keep talking until they listen. Complain to the DON, administration and the ombudsman in your area.
Good luck in getting this situation resolved.