I am the oldest and only daughter. I have been POA before mom’s mental health declined. She has Alzheimer’s and dementia. Living at her home became a danger so the decision was to move her to memory care.
I had to clear, repair, clean her home. Took us 6 months! She is a hoarder.
No help from brothers. I told them to come and get what they wanted, then my friends help clear, move furniture and clean the house getting ready to rent. Of course we (hubby) had to research, repair people, estate sellers, etc. We have a great realtor and had mom’s house rented the next month.
One brother tries to visit once a month which I appreciate. I can’t go as often because of my health. All of this has taken a toll on me emotionally and physically. When my brother calls me he wants to know her current finances and when things change he wants to know why I didn’t notify him. I told him I take care of her finances along with her tax consultant and financial advisor. Her oldest granddaughter (my daughter) is her favorite. She lives in Huntington Beach and manages to visit her often, sends gifts and cards for every occasion. Mom asks about Tina and recognizes her when we FaceTime. I want to appoint her as POA if anything happens to me. Can I do that? She shows more concern than either brother and never questions her finances. She is responsible and empathetic. She has volunteered to take over if it’s too much for me. She is 52.
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I am the only one with POA. I am also Trustee according to her will and level of Dementia. I have an Elder Attorney who has helped with bank paperwork since some banks do not recognize POA. Selling her home was easier. Title company used my POA status.
Dealing with my brother is challenging. He wants to know all the financial information. He thinks I’m being secretive and selfish. I have suggested he take over, but he always declines. I just told him I would not give him the information. Medical information yes, but financial no.
Thank you for reassuring me that my choices were correct.
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For example OP's question.
The answer is easy.
No, OP can't appoint someone else as POA.
What surprises me, are - some - medical questions that really sometimes obviously must be asked to a doctor who sees the patient, not to a forum.
Do not rely on responses here, no matter how helpful or intention to be helpful. You need an attorney who knows the specifics and has legal documents now in place to examine.
A court can't order a back-up POA.
Only the principal (Mom) can decide about POA.
When there are problems with POA...example: the POA agent dies before the principal, then there is no longer a valid POA available. Then the only option is guardianship.
Right now, OP is POA.
OP has 2 options:
1. Try to get a lawyer to allow Mom to sign a new POA, and revoke the old POA document.
2. Forget about POA (especially if no lawyer will allow Mom to sign because of dementia), and go for guardianship. OP can be co-guardian with her daughter...Guardianship must be sought in court; it's costly. OP might win/lose. The brothers might fight against her in court, for guardianship.
OP, be aware, that just because you don't like Mom's choices of POA (your brothers and you), doesn't mean YOU can choose who is POA, and who isn't. Right now, all three of you are POA, right? Your 2 brothers and you?
IMPORTANT:
This has consequences:
When there are several POAs, like in your case OP, there normally is INDEED an obligation to inform the other POAs (your brothers) of the financial situation, of any changes, all decisions...Not informing can EVEN get you into legal trouble, and be called obstructing.
Only her Mom can appoint POA, by signing a new POA document.
You really don't need to tell ur brother anything about Moms finances. Mom assigned u POA and as POA her finances are between her and you. Your brother has no right to the info. Decisions made are all on you. He can, at Moms passing, contest the accting of her estate, so make sure u keep good records and keep all bills and receipts. Good u have a tax consultant and financial Advisor to back u up. I hope you are Executor too. Make sure you take that Executor fee, u deserve it.
But, she has dementia. If she can still speak logically, and answer some questions, a lawyer might allow her to sign POA.
Another and better way, I believe, is to designate only one POA with an alternate POA in case the first POA cannot or will not serve.
That eliminates the extreme misery of two people having to agree on everything.
It's too bad that your mother didn't appoint a second person as follow-up POA when she originally had the paperwork done.
When I did mine I listed both my children as my POA's. I felt that was better in the long run.
And I must add, I can't see it as a sign of a conscientious candidate for POA that she never questions how her grandmother's finances are managed. If the brother who does ask is the nominated replacement and it is all getting too much for you, why not hand over to him?
Also, the finances aren't the brother's business. OP is serving as her mother's POA, and her job is to handle HER finances with discretion.